A Karaoke Party From Hell
by darkest demon child
Summary: Seamus is throwing a random karaoke party in the Room of Requirement, and all of Hogwarts is going. Yes, including Snape. Secret crushes, horrible singing, pervertedness, and mahem commences! Warnings: Will contain slash, an
1. Lose My Breath

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear I am up to no good and that I don't own Harry Potter

Kuri: Or that first sentence.

Ddc: Go away Kuri. Sorry guys, that's my muse. Hella annoying, I'll try to keep her away for right now.

Kuri: Oh you know you love me.

Ddc: Actually I don't...

Kuri: NOT IN THAT WAY PERV!

Ddc: Can I help it if that's how it sounded?

Kuri: No but you could get your mind out of the gutter!

Ddc: But its fun there!!!!!!!

Kuri: -.-;;;;;;;

A/n: Heya people! Well, they say they can't teach an old dog new tricks, and even though I'm not old (turned 15 yesterday!!!! Woohoo!!) I'm writing ANOTHER karaoke fic. Except this one isn't for Yu Yu Hakusho, it's for Harry Potter. Yeah yeah, I know that Not Another Karaoke Party isn't finished yet, but it's getting pretty close, so I've decided to start up this one to continue on with the singing fanfiction mahem. And for all of you readers that have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, I'll give you all the details at the end of the fic. So now, on with the fic and I hope you enjoy A Karaoke Party From Hell!

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Harry, Ron, and Hermione: ::walk into Room of Requirement::

Ron: Ok tell me one more time. Why exactly are we listening to Seamus and going to this weird party thingymabob?

Hermione: Because it beats sitting around complaining about being bored. Plus I wanna know who Harry's crush is.

Harry: ::snickers:: You'll never figure it out, and besides. They're probably not even at the party. I'd be really surprised if they were.

Ron: They?! THEY?! You mean your crush is a siamese twin?!

Harry: Huh?

Hermione: -.-;; Ron. Harry's referring to his crush as them so we won't have a clue as to who it is. For all we know he's madly in love with Crabb

Harry: Eeewwwww don't even joke about something like that!!! That guy smells like a wolf came up and though he was a fire hydrant!

Ron: And how would you know that? And why aren't you grossed out with the fact that she's suggesting you're gay?

Harry: Ummm...uhh....

Hermione: Because he's bi.

Ron: REALLY??!?!

Harry: Hehe. Oh look we're here.

::They walk into room::

Ron: ::glaring at him:: I can't believe you didn't tell me!!!

Seamus: Heya guys!!! Glad you decided to get off your lazy asses and come! Tell what, Ron?

Ron: That Harry's....

Harry: GAH! ::clamps hand over Ron's mouth:: Shut up!! You want the whole world to know?!

Mysterious voice from behind: What? That you're really a mutant toad in disguise as a 16 year old?

Harry: ::shrieks:: Meep!!! Scary!! Who was that?!

Draco: ::steps out of shadows with Blaise, Pansy, Crab and Goyle:: Hehe, that was fun. Ok, enough fun. Finnigan, tell me what the hell you're doing so I can distract Pansy and run for my life.

Pansy: Oh Drake, don't be silly. You aren't going anywhere, because You-Know-Who's here!

Ron: ::shrieks:: VOLDIE'S HERE?!?!?! WHERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Harry Hermione and Seamus: -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Blaise: ::snickering:: Aren't Gryffindor's supposed to be brave?

Ron: Of course. We just know when to run away.

Seamus: He disgraces us Gryffies.

Hermione: Tell me about it.

Harry: You shouldn't be talking Hermione, you're the one going out with him.

Hermione: So?! That doesn't mean I can't think he's a bloody coward!

Seamus: Ok, ok. Enough idle chit chat! Lets go sit down and see everyone.

Harry: Um...exactly how many people did you invite?

Seamus: Only the best of the best, Harry.

Fred and George: ::appear next to Harry:: Also known as everyone at Hogwarts.

Harry: O.o does that include the professors.

Seamus: Umm...not all of them.

Harry: Please say Snape isn't here...

Seamus: Ok, Snape's not here.

Fred: Really? I thought that was him over there.

George: Yeah the goth reject sitting in the black armchair by the fire.

Seamus: No that's um....Marilyn Manson!

George: ::walks over and spins chair around, showing Snape:: No, I really think this is Snape.

Snape: Unhand me this instant you morons!

Harry: Gaaahhh why did you invite him?!

Snape: Because I'm special and loved.

Everyone: O.o

Seamus: ::claps hands together:: Ok people!!! Hi! You'd better know who I am or you're brain dead turtles. Anyway, everyone's here now that the Golden Trio Gryffies and the Not-So-Golden Slythies decided to shuffle their ways down here, so we'd better get started. This is going to be a karaoke party, and the rules are that people get to say who they want to sing and what song they want them to sing. And the victims have no say-so in if they sing or not. And if you don't know what karaoke is, then you are a sad, sad child.

Ron and Draco: What's karaoke?

Draco: ::glares at Ron:: Stop copying me Weasel Man.

Ron: ::glares back:: I said it first Ferret Freak!

Harry: Guys, guys! Stop it!

Hermione: For one thing, you both spoke at exactly the same time.

Ron: So? That's irrelevant!

Harry: Um...right. Whatever.

Seamus: AS I WAS SAYING! Those who don't know what karaoke is get to watch and find out. Now, who wants to go first?

::crickets chirping::

Seamus: ::taps foot:: Anyone?

::Crickets forming new boy band with their chirps::

Seamus: Ok, how about this. Who wants to public humiliate someone by making them sing a really stupid song?

::Crickets have been squished by unknown source::

Everyone: ::shouting at once::

Seamus: -.-;;;; wow we're all so nice here aren't we.

Dean: What do you expect? We're teenagers.

Blaise: Yeah, we're blood-thirsty.

Seamus: Good point.

Pansy: ::jumping up and down:: I got an idea!!!! I got an idea!!!!

Seamus: Ok fine. Spaztic blond Slythie girl. What's your idea?

Pansy: Yay!! Attention!!! Ok, here's my idea. Me, a girl from the Gryffindorks, and one from the Ravenlosers sing Lose My Breath!

Draco: How do you know that song?

Pansy: None of your business blondie.

Draco: Hey!!! You're blond too!!

Pansy: What's your point?

Draco: No calling me blondie!!!

Pansy: Too late.

Harry and Ron: ::snickering::

Harry: Oh don't worry BLONDIE, you'll still be a bitchy little prat to us.

Ron: Yeah, even if your blondieness does affect your evilness, we'll still hate you.

Draco: ::glaring with little devil horns and a tail appearing behind him with flames erupting around him::

Ron: Woah...that's only slightly disturbing there.

Seamus: Ok, enough bashing Draco. We don't want any unnecessary casualties of karaoke partying here. That's for later on. ::cackling:: Muhahahahahahahahahaha

Everyone: O.o....

Seamus: Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, Pansy. Who do you suggest be the other singers?

Pansy: Hoe-miny and Cho.

Hermione: Excuse me!

Cho: Ew. Why would I want to, like, sing with you?

Pansy: Because, I'm supplying the clothes.

Hermione and Cho: Ooo we get to dress up?!

Pansy: Damn straight.

Hermione: Awesome!!

Cho: Lead the way girlfriend!!

Pansy, Hermione, and Cho: ::rush out to change::

Ron: ::nudges Harry:: So is she your crush?

Harry: Who? Pansy?

Ron: No dumbass. Cho.

Harry: Nope. Ancient history Ron. Watch, it'll be in Binns' lecture tomorrow.

Blaise: ::saunters over:: What's this about Harry having a crush?

Ron: Well if you must know he has a secret crush and I'm trying to figure our who it is.

Blaise: Really now? That's interesting...Draco has one too, except I figured it out the other day. You'll NEVER guess who he likes!

Ron: Oooo who?! Please tell, I need good blackmail.

Blaise: What will you give me?

Ron: I'll be your loyal worshiper for one week.

Blaise: Hmmm...you drive a hard bargain Weasley.

Ron: I know.

Blaise: Deal! Ok. Draco likes...

Draco: ::tackles Blaise:: I CANT BELIEVE YOU WERE GOING TO TELL THE WEASEL!!!!!!

Harry: ::leaning against the wall snickering:: You know Draco, you should try out for an American football team. You'd make a great lineman. You'd have to gain about 200 pounds, but oh well. Those are the breaks.

Draco: Huh? What's football?

Blaise: ::shrugs while pushing Draco off of him:: Some Muggle sport. And I was going to tell him because he promised to be my loyal worshipper for one week.

Draco: SO?!?!?!?!? Do you have ANY IDEA what would happen to me if anyone else found out that I like You-Know-Who?! ANY?!

Harry: ::raises an eyebrow:: You like Voldemort?

Draco: NO! ARGH! Just go away Harry, you're annoying me.

Harry: ::salutes:: Yes sir, sir! ::marches away::

Ron: ::rolls eyes:: Blaise, we'll continue this conversation later.

Blaise: ::grins evilly:: Yes we will.

Draco: O.o I'm dead aren't I?

Blaise: Oh yeah.

Draco: I should have know that I can't trust you with a secret

Blaise: Oh yeah.

Draco: Why do you keep saying that?

Blaise: Because I can. Oh yeah.

Draco: You sound like that pitcher of Muggle Kool-Aid on that Muggle thingy, television commercials.

Blaise: That's the idea blondie.

Draco: -.-;;;;;;

Pansy: ::poking head through door:: BLONDIE!! STOP TALKING!!! ME AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING TO SING NOW!!!!

Blaise: Oh god, just kill me now. Pansy singing.

Seamus: Actually Pansy isn't singing that much, Cho and Hermione is singing the most, and they aren't that bad.

Ron: And just how do you know that?

Seamus: I have my ways...::mumbles about girls bathrooms::

Ron: ::looks at him suspiciously then shrugs:: Whatever.

Pansy: Yay!! We can sing!! We can sing!!!

Hermione and Cho: ::grumbling::

::Music starts::

Pansy, Hermione, and Cho: ::dressed in slutty black mini skirts, white halter tops, and knee high white boots:: Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my breath hah hah

Hermione: Ooh

I put it right in front of me, easy for you to get to

Now you wanna act like ya don't know what to do

Actin' like I done everything that you ask me

Had you, had you, had you, had you

Move so fast baby now I can't find you

Ron: ::drooling:: Preeetttyyyyy

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: Please. They don't look that good. They look like Playboy bunny wannabes.

Blaise and Ron: And that is a bad thing?!

Blaise: Hey Blondie!! Can I steal Pansy from you?

Draco: ::shudders:: Hell yeah! You'd be helping me!!! I don't want that slut, besides. She's not my type.

Blaise: ::snickers:: That's right, You-Know-Who is the exact opposite of her, in everyway imaginable.

Ron: Every way? Hmm...

Draco: ::rolls eyes:: Stop thinking Weasel. You'll hurt yourself.

Ron: ::hasn't heard him because he's too busy thinking::

Hermione: Oooh

I'm startin' to believe that I'm way too much for you

All that talk but it seems like it can't come through

On and off, to satisfy me, now I see why the little you ride me

Gave you the wheel, but you can't drive me

Pansy, Hermione, and Cho: Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my breath hah hah

Cho: Oooh

Do things that I like when I try to get my groove

It's a problem makes me only happy just get proof

Take me out so deep when you know you can't swim

Now I've drowned and I need protection

To put it on me deep in the right direction

Oooh

You understand the facts that I'm trynna give to you

Ya movin' so slow like you just don't have a clue

Didn't mama teach you to give affection?

You're the difference of a man and an adolescent

Don't need you boo, so get tha steppin'

Justin: ::wolf whistling:: Go Cho! Go!!

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: She's not that good

Draco: ::has somehow appeared next to him again (a/n: creepy how that happens eh? Tehe):: Jealous, Harry?

Harry: ::snorts:: Why would I be?

Draco: ::pretends to examine his nails:: Oh, no reason. I just heard it on the grapevine that you had a huge crush on her for how many years again? 2? 3?

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: As I said to Ron, ancient history. I've moved on from her, to much more...appetizing...prey. ::smirks and walks away::

Draco: O.o meep scariness there.

Pansy, Hermione, and Cho: Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my breath hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my breath hah hah

Pansy: If you get what we say ooo

Like you really that strong

Now you ask for some and you really want not nothin

If you get what we say ooo

Like you feelin' this groove

Hermione: You don't have no business and this is your purpose

Baby you are senseless, senseless, senseless, senseless, senseless, senseless, senseless

Pansy, Hermione, and Cho: Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my breath hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my hah hah

Can you keep up?

Baby boy, lemme lose my breath

And you know, this lemme lose my breath

Keep it hot, lemme lose my breath hah hah

::Music ends::

Boys: ::wolf whistling::

Girls: ::cheering::

Ron: ::hugging Hermione:: You were awesome!!!

Hermione: ::blushing:: Thanks Ron.

Ron: So tell me. Do you get to keep the outfit?

Pansy: HELL NO!!!!

Hermione and Cho: ::grin evilly:: Never said we couldn't.

Pansy: I SAY NO AND I MEAN IT!!!

Hermione: And we say

Cho: We get to keep em.

Pansy: NNEEEVVVEEERRR!!!! ::chases them around::

Blaise: Woohoo!! Cat fight!! Cat fight!!!

Harry and Ron: ::snickering:: Go Hermione go!

Seamus: Well that was fun. Who's next?

Goyle: I have an idea

Ron: Oh my god!! Someone write down the date and time! Goyle actually has AN IDEA!!!!

Goyle: ::walks over and punches Ron in the face so he flies into a couch:: Can it Weasel Man.

Draco: Hey hey hey. That evil, annoying nickname is copy written to me! No stealing!

Goyle: Sorry Master.

Draco and everyone else: O.o

Draco: You're really weird...you know that right?

Goyle: Duh. Anyway, here's my idea.

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A/n: Well, this isn't the funniest thing I've ever written cus I wasn't very hyper while writing it, but it's not horrible, right? Right? Ok, details on my karaoke fics. With these fics I DEMAND reviews and song/character requests. All requests are read (along with reviews of course) and most requests are taken. And at the moment all requests will probably be used, so send em in! Ddc out, and I promise to up the comedy asap.


	2. AM to PM

Disclaimer: Do I hhhaaavvveee to?

Kuri: Yes

Ddc: Why?

Kuri: Because you don't own anything.

Ddc: Why?

Kuri: Because you're not J.K Rowing.

Ddc: Why?

Kuri: Because you weren't born to her mom.

Ddc: Why?

Kuri: -.-; Because you're not a special little butterfly

Ddc: O.O I....I'm not?!?!

Kuri: No.

Ddc: WWWHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!!

Kuri: ::holding ears:: Someone make her stop...

A/N: Hi guys!!! I'm back with a second chapter, and ready to get down and dirty with pervyness and complete chaos. I promise to make the story pick up in the next few chappies so that it's more interesting than the last one, I wasn't hyper enough when I wrote it. Anyway, I'm sure you aren't hear to read my random babbling, so after a quick reviewer response we'll kick off the next chapter of A Karaoke Party From Hell!

Love of Wind: Yay!!! Shida approves!!! Shida approves!!! Glad ya like it Shida!!! Oo...who's that by? I'll definitely look it up. Talk to ya later on e-mail!

Kit: !!!!! COOKIE!!! GIVI THE COOKIE!!!!!! ::chases you around for cookie::

Lain-Iris: Tehe. Ultimate madness rules my world too. D Lol you know I can't tell you that, but you are right, all the clues point to Draco, and the fact that that's my second fav pairing in Harry Potter. BUT there are other possibilities too, cus I've been reading other interesting pairings too. D hope ya like this chapter too!

D&G: Yay!! DG approves too! So many approvals, I feel so special and loved. Ooo I'm definitely looking that song up along with Shida's request. Draco, more appetizing? Swweeetttt. Tehe. Updating, updating oh almighty DG. D

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Seamus: ::munching on cookie:: Mmmmmm the cookie goodness is so yummy!

Ron: ::groaning while rubbing head:: Mom? Where'd you put my favorite stuffed kitten?

Harry: ::raises eyebrow:: Stuffed kitten?

Ron: O.o I mean my...um...manly lion statue!

Harry: ::snickering:: Sure Ron...sure.

Oliver Wood: ::pops up behind Harry:: Hey did you guys see that weird blond girl chasing around Hermione and the hot Asian chick?

Harry: AH!! Scaryness.

Seamus: ::still eating cookie:: Yeah man, how'd you get here?

Draco: How come you idiots are talking like Americans.

Harry: Because we can bro.

Draco: O.o I am NOT your bro!

Ron: ::smirking:: You so sure about that homey?

Harry: How do you know muggle slang?

Ron: I just do.

Draco: What's a homey?

Harry: ::smirking too while moving in closer:: You sure you wanna know?

Draco: ::backing away:: Um...now I'm not so sure.

Ron: ::snickering:: Go Harry go!

Oliver: Harry's acting weird...he's flirting with Blondie.

Ron: He is?

Oliver: ::rolls eyes:: Look!

Harry: ::pushing Draco up against a wall and whispering into his ear::

Ron: YOU MEAN HE IS YOU-KNOW-WHO?!

Mysterious Voice #2: No, **I** am You-Know-Who! MUHAHAHA COWER IN FEAR MIDGETS!!!!!!

Ron and Oliver: ::hug each other in fear:: AAHHH!! SOMEBODY SAVE US!!!!!

Sirius: ::appears in doorway cracking up:: Oh that was so fun. Hey Harry! Stop flirting with everyone in sight and say hi to godfather!

Draco: AHH!!!!!! MASS MURDER!!!!!! ::cowering behind Harry::

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: You're such a wuss. Hey Siri!!!! ::hugs Sirius:: What are you doing here?

Sirius: Oh no reason. Just felt like crashing a party. You know how it goes.

Harry: Damn straight.

Hermione: ::still running from Pansy, who is now foaming at the mouth (she's a rabid dog when it comes to clothes):: Hey Sirius! Long time no see! Sorry can't chat. Gotta run from the rabid girl-dog.

Sirius: ::raises eyebrow:: Interesting...since when was Hermione a Playboy bunny?

Ron: Since about 5 minutes ago.

Neville: Yeah you missed the best show. Sucks to be you Sirius!

Sirius: T.T so sad

Harry: Aw don't worry Siri. I'm sure the next person or group going will be funny.

Mysterious voice #3: Not if we have anything to say about it! Muhahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!

Harry: Don't tell me. Remus is here too?

Remus: ::trying to shove Snape into the fire place:: Nope, I'm over here. DIE WORM!!!!!!

Snape: Gaaahhhh random werewolf attack!!!!

Remus: RAWR!!!!!!

Harry: Um...ok. Then who's the new person?

Voldemort, Lucius, Wormtail, and a ton of other Death Eaters: ::appear in doorway: WE are!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Harry, Draco, and Sirius: ::hug each other screaming:: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Sirius: ::notices he's hugging Draco:: GAH! MALFOY COOTIES!!!!!

Draco: ::rolls eyes:: Shut up weirdo. AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY DAD'S SO GONNA KILL ME!!!!!

Harry: ::looks at Lucius and starts snickering:: I don't think he has the balls to do it Blondie.

Draco: ::sniffling:: Wh...why?

Harry: ::points:: That's why.

Lucius: What? ::is wearing a black leather dress, collar, and matching knee high boots with his hair done up in a pony tail::

Draco: AAAAHHHH!!! MY EYES!!!!!!! ::buries face into Harry's chest::

Harry: ::just snickering:: Nice outfit Blondie Senior.

Lucius: Why thank you Harry. But do you think my hair would look better in braids?

Harry: No it looks fine the way it is.

Voldemort: ::is wearing a white and black corset thing with a black mini skirt, fishnet stockings, and the same boots as Lucius:: Well for once I must agree. But I must say, I wish he would let me lend him one of my purses...I mean the outfit just isn't the same without it.

Harry: ::looks at Voldemort and shrieks:: AAHHH!!!!! ::buries face into Draco's hair:: Hey you smell nice.

Draco: Thanks. You're warm.

Harry: Good, I was worried I was turning into a lizard the other day cus my hands were so cold.

Draco: Umm...ok. By the way, why did you shriek?

Harry: Are you brave?

Draco: No.

Harry: Then don't look at Voldie.

Draco: ::looks at Voldemort:: AAAHHH!!!! ITS A SKELETON DRAG QUEEN!!!!!! ::faints::

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: I told him not to look...

Ron: Ooo Blondie fainted! Can we draw funny things on his face?

Harry: ::tosses unconscious Draco at him:: Sure, knock yourself out.

Oliver: Eh? I thought you liked him?

Harry: You thought I liked HIM?!

Oliver: Well, you were just hugging him...and earlier you had him pressed up against a wall...

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: You're crazy Oliver. I don't like him.

Ron: Yay!!! I'm happy now. Sharpies rock my socks!!

Harry: Um...ok then. I'm just going to go as far away from you and the Drag Eaters as I can get. ::scoots away::

Goyle: Are you guys done yet?!

Ron: Hell no!! He needs to have a French mustache on his face!!

Goyle: -.-;;;; I wasn't talking about that. Can I give my idea now?

Seamus: Sure Goyle, knock yourself out.

Goyle: Ok. ::takes a brick and hits himself on the head::

Seamus: -.-;;;; I didn't mean literally.

Ron: ::has covered Draco's face with random doodles:: Ooo can I wake him up?

Seamus: Sure.

Ron: Weee!!! ::starts jumping up and down on Goyle's stomach:: WAKE UP FATTY!!!!

Harry: Ron you wouldn't happen to have inhaled anything the twins gave you now?

Ron: Nope!!! I'm just so evilly amused!

Lucius: Evilly amused?

Voldemort: Does that make sense to you?

Snape: ::is pressing feet against side of the fire place to keep Remus from pushing him in:: Doesnt to me! Aaaahhh good god man!! Stop trying to push me into the fireplace!!!

Remus: NEVER!!!! MUHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAH

Voldemort: How come he isn't with us? He's got the evil laugh.

Wormtail: I'll start the recruitment process right away Master! ::takes out pen and paper and goes over to Remus:: Remus Lupin, are you straight or gay?

Remus: ::stops pushing Snape into fireplace:: Um...bi?

Wormtail: Good enough. Do you enjoy dressing as a woman?

Remus: Umm...maybe?

Wormtail: Awesome! You're now one of the Drag Eaters!! I mean Death Eaters! I mean...gah I don't know what we're called anymore.

Remus: Hey don't I know you from somewhere?

Wormtail: Um...no?

Sirius: Remus don't be dumb. That's Peter, you know Wormtail.

Remus: WORM!!! ::picks up Wormtail and tries to push him into the fireplace:: BURN BABY!! BURN!!!!!

Snape: Yay it isn't me anymore!

Goyle: ::is now awake:: Ow shit! Stop it Weasel Man! I'm not a trampoline!

Draco: What did I say about that nickname Goyle?

Goyle: Sorry Master.

Draco: STOP CALLING ME THAT! ::has grown devil horns and tail again::

Ron: Hey when did he wake up?

Draco: ::goes back to normal:: A minute ago.

Harry: ::snickering:: Nice face Blondie.

Draco: Huh? ::Transfigures Voldemort's purse into a mirror:: AAAAHHH!!! MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLY COMPLECTION!!!!! ::runs into bathroom to wash off Sharpie doodles::

Voldemort: ::Sobbing:: My purse!!! My beautiful, beautiful purse!!!

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: Why are my worst enemies turning out to be gay pansies?

Lucius: Because that's just how the world works.

Voldemort: Yup.

Goyle: CAN I SAY MY IDEA NOW!?

Seamus: Sure Goyle.

Goyle: Ok. Scary Blondie Senior gets to sing A.M. To P.M.

Harry: O.o ::faints::

Draco: ::comes out with Sharpie doodle-free face:: What was that?

Goyle: I said scary Blondie Senior gets to sing A.M. To P.M.

Draco: O.o ::faints::

Ron: YES!!!! I get to draw on BOTH of their faces with Sharpies!!! ::drag Draco and Harry off to draw on their faces::

Lucius: Yay!! Did you hear that Voldie?? I get to sing!! I get to sing!! ::jumping up and down::

Voldemort: That's great Lucius. Now could you get me another purse please?

Lucius: Oh course Master. ::transfigures Snape into a purse:: One brand new purse!

Voldemort: Yay!!!!! Lucius I loooove you!!!

Lucius: O.o I hope you mean in a platonic, non-gay way.

Voldemort: Oh of course.

Seamus: Enough chit chat and turning Snape into purses! Blondie senior! Start singing! Now!!!

Lucius: All right all right! Don't lose your head! I'm going I'm going. ::trips over shoes::

Seamus: ::rolls eyes:: How about you stop acting like a ditz and start singing.

Lucius: Don't me Avada Kedavra you young man!

Seamus: Ooo scary! Blondie senior in drag is threatening me!! Whhhaaa I'm so scared I wanna piss my pants!!! ::cracking up::

Lucius: ::glaring:: You'll get yours homophobic!

Seamus: ::snickering:: I'm no homophobic. I'm a Drag Eater phobic. Now start singing!

::Music starts::

Lucius: Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it day and night

People gettin' down, that's right

From AM to PM

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fella's in the bars

All of yall bumpin' this in your cars

From AM to PM

Everybody wanna get down when you hear the sound and you bump the beat

Three sixty-five days a years, twenty-four a day, seven days a week

Now when you're driving in your four by four and you turn this up on your stereo

Whether night or day, non-stop you'll play, and you know you still want more

Ron: ::comes back giggling:: Hey look!! Blondie senior's singing!!

Hermione: He has been for over a minute Ron

Ron: Oh. My bad, I was doodling on Harry and Draco's faces.

Hermione: We know Ron ::sighs::

Lucius: So find a honey that's standing on the wall

All the girls get the guys on the floor

From the front to the back let's go, hear this. Woo!

Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it day and night

People gettin' down, that's right

From AM to PM

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fella's in the bars

All of yall bumpin' this in your cars

From AM to PM

Oooooooh, yeah

Draco and Harry: ::stumble in after washing faces:: Gaaaahhhhh!!!!!!! ::faint again at Lucius singing and dancing::

Ron: Yay!!! They fainted again!!! More doodling!!! ::skips off::

George: Did we give him anything?

Fred: I don't know. Did we?

George: I don't remember.

Fred: Me neither.

George: Oh well.

Fred: Now we can't get blamed for him acting high because

George: We don't remember anything.

Fred: Amnesia rocks our world.

George: I thought pranks did

Fred: No that's every Tuesday. Today's Thursday, so amnesia rocks it today.

George: Oh right. Sorry my bad.

Lucius: Everybody in the club come on keep bobbin' your head now to this song

You got the beats and breaks and your body shake, and we're doing it all night long

Any time or place, any place or time, no we don't need no sleep.

Three sixty-five days a year, twenty-four a day, seven days a week.

So find a honey that's standin' on the wall, all the girls get the guys on the floor

From the front to the back lets go, hear this. Woo!

Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it day and night

People gettin' down, that's right

From AM to PM

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fella's in the bars

All of yall bumpin' this in your cars

From AM to PM

Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it day and night

People gettin' down, that's right

From AM to PM

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fella's in the bars

All of yall bumpin' this in your cars

From AM to PM

From the front to the back come on and bob your head, yeah

Three sixty-five days a year, twenty-four a day, yeah

No we don't need no sleep

All night we rock that beat

So you know what to do

Just make it move and make it move, yeah

So find a honey that's standing on the wall, all the girls get the guys on the floor

From the front to the back lets go, hear this. Woo!

Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it day and night

People gettin' down, that's right

From AM to PM

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fella's in the bars

All of yall bumpin' this in your cars

From AM to PM

Somebody hit the lights

So we can rock it day and night

People gettin' down, that's right

From AM to PM

Everybody lookin' like stars

All the chicks and the fella's in the bars

All of yall bumpin' this in your cars

From AM to PM

::music ends::

Voldemort: ::clapping the golf clap:: That was very beautiful Lucius

Lucius: ::jumping around skipping:: Weee!!! That was so much fun!!!!

Fred: Did we slip anything into his drink?

George: No I would remember something like that.

Fred: You mean he naturally acts like that?

George: I guess so.

Fred: O.o that's scary.

George: No wonder Blondie and Harry fainted.

Fred: They were smart

George: Even if they have Sharpie doodles all over their faces because of it.

Fred: Oh well. Nothing's perfect.

Lucius: What are you two murmuring about over there?

George: Nothing your royal gayness!

Fred: We just had an idea is all.

Seamus: Thank god. Say your idea you two before I die!

George: Ok!!!

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A/n: gaahh listening to Am to Pm on repeat while writing this chapter really screwed with my brain. It explains everything, doesn't it? Tehe. Well I hope that you guys liked this chapter, and please review to make me feel special and loved. D until next time!!!


	3. Just Lose It

Disclaimer: ::singing to Gackt::

Kuri: -.-;;; do the damn disclaimer.

Ddc: Sorry I'm busy ::sings more::

Kuri: She doesn't own Harry Potter.

Ddc: Or DO I? ::cackling:: Muhahahahahahahaha

Kuri: No, she really doesn't.

Ddc: You can't prove that!

Kuri: Um yeah I can.

Ddc: No you can't!

Kuri: Yeah I can.

Ddc: ::glaring:: NO you can't!

Kuri: ::holds up copyright contract for Harry Potter:: It belongs to J.K. Rowing, not you!

Ddc: What if I'm J.K. Rowing in disguise? Hmmmmm?

Kuri: -.-;;;;;;;;;

Ddc: Wee I win.

A/n: Weeeee heya readers! It's Thanksgiving Break, I'm hyper, and I'm ready to write another completely random chapter of A Karaoke Party From Hell! But first, reviewer responses cus I love you guys. :D

Kit: Tehehe yes the Drag Eaters. They rock my socks with their gayness. AAAHHH Me Against the Music is playing...scariness.

Lain-Iris: O.o don't hate me!! I never said there WASN'T HarryxDraco, I just said that I can't say yet and it could be another pairing. You'll just have to wait and find out. But just for the record, I will NOT write a HermionexHarry, GinnyxHarry, ChoxHarry, RonxHarry, or SnapexHarry pairing fic. They just scare me. Yay! Funnies. I'm happy now.

Love of Wind: Hey Shida!! Guess what, you win the prize!! I'm using your song! :D cus it's just sooo funny. Yeah the CG's are gonna show up eventually, but not until Not Another Karaoke Party is done. Which it will be soon, so you gotta go read and review it asap, I only got one review for it cus of the stupid site shutting down and not allowing reviews to be posted. T.T Ooooooo cookie!!! The unthinkable? What's the unthinkable? I wanna knoooowwww!!!

D&G: Tehehe the Drag Eaters were my fav part in that chappie. O.o you mean there is an actual pic of a drag queen and bunny Snape? O.o that's scary...ooo Closer is a cool song. Of course I'll use it! Hello, Love Under the Strobe Light! If I use a song in a oneshot fic, then chances are I'll use it in a karaoke fic. Lol I'm gonna have a remuxxsirius pairing cus they're my fav pairing in the story. DracoxHarry is second, they're just easier to write about and make act crazy. :D Glad I rocked your non-existant socks!

Shadow Fox I: Ooo I've never heard that song. I'll go check it out and then see if I should use it or not. Lol don't worry, I act gay all the time even though I'm straight. You should see me run when I'm hyper in P.E. It's a scary scary thing. :P

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Voldemort: Oo Lllluuucccciiiiuuuusssss!!!!

Lucius: Yes your almighty Gayness?

Voldemort: What color eyeshadow should I wear??? I can't decide between baby blue, pink, or green.

Lucius: Hmmm they all look good. What if we blended them together?

Voldemort: OH!!!! Lucius you are a GENIUS!

Lucius: Thank you my Lord.

Voldemort: Come help me apply these luscious, delicious colors Lucius!

Lucius: Oooh yay!! MAKEOVER!!!

Death aka Drag Eaters: ::skip off to bathroom::

Draco and Harry: ::come out with clean faces again::

Harry: If Ron draws on my face ONE MORE TIME I'm going to eat him.

Draco: Ew...that'd be nasty.

Harry: Why?

Draco: Well wouldn't he taste disgusting?

Harry: Um...I really wouldn't know. I'm not a cannibal.

Draco: Then why'd you say you were going to eat him?

Harry: -.- it's a figure of speech oh bright one.

Draco: Oh...EW!!!!

Hermione: Ok now why is Blondie shrieking like a little girl?

Draco: ::goes into devil form:: DON'T CALL ME BLONDIE!!!!

Hermione: Right Blondie. Whatever.

Harry: ::shrugs:: I don't know why Blondie is acting like a girl again. I just said I was gonna eat Ron if he drew on my face one more time.

Draco: ::shuddering:: Bad mental images...

Hermione: Ummm...I don't get it.

Harry: Me neither...wait.

Draco: ::still shuddering::

Harry: O.o EWWWWW!!!!! YOU LITTLE PERVERT!!!!!!

Draco: ::clutching head:: Make it go away!!!!!

Harry: ::shrieking about Draco being a pervert::

Hermione: I still don't get it...

Draco: Be HAPPY you don't get it!!!! eeewwwwwwww

Harry: ::slaps Draco upside the head:: I DID NOT MEAN THAT!!!!

Draco: Owwwww

Hermione: Are you two done acting like 5th graders?

Harry: No.

Hermione: ::rolls eyes:: Fine. I'm going to go eat Ron for leaving me to deal with the rabid Pansy all by myself.

Draco: O.o

Harry: By the way, where is she?

Hermione: Locked in the bathroom.

Harry: But the Drag Eaters just went into there...

Hermione: Really? Oh well. Sucks to be her. I've heard them when they start makeovers. It's a scary, scary thing. Ok, time to eat Ron.

Draco: O.o

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: You have to be one of the perviest people I know, Draco Malfoy.

Draco: Yeah well you love me for it.

Harry: O.o no I don't!!!!

Draco: Yes you do!

Blaise: What's up here boys?

Draco: Blaise!! Tell Harry he loves me for my perviness!

Blaise: Huh?

Draco: Just do it.

Blaise: ::crosses arms:: Why should I? You attacked me.

Draco: Because you were going to tell Weasel Man who You-Know-Who is!

Harry: Well that's obvious. Everyone knows who that is.

Draco: O.o WHAT?!?!?!??!!? YOU KNOW?!?!??!

Harry: Uh...duh. Voldemort is You-Know-Who. Did you accidently inhale the Sharpie fumes or something? Cus you're acting stupider than usual.

Draco: ::sighs in relief:: Good you don't know. I'm not talking about THAT You-Know-Who. Ewwwww, why would I like HIM? He's a frickin' skeleton drag queen!!!

Blaise: Um Draco? Your dad is a drag queen.

Draco: So? He's not a skeleton.

Harry: He's still a drag queen.

Draco: Yeah well at least I have a dad!

Harry: Yeah well at least my godfather is normal!

Draco: Really?

Blaise, Harry, and Draco: ::look over at Remus and Sirius::

Remus: ::has pushed Wormtail into the fire place:: YYEESSSS!!!!!! VENGENCE IS MINE!!!!!

Sirius: YAY!!! GO WOLFIE!!!!

Remus: ::looking very pleased::

Sirius: Here Wolfie! Have a Were treat!! ::tosses werewolf biscuit at Remus::

Remus: ::jumps up, catches biscuit in mouth, then flips in midair after eating it::

Blaise and Harry: O.o

Draco: ::smirking:: I rest my case.

Harry: ::grumbles and walks off to talk to Oliver::

Draco: Weeeee I win!

Blaise: ::rolls eyes:: You're so immature

Draco: Thank you.

Ron: ::skips out of unknown room with a jumbo pack of Sharpies:: Oooohhh Dddrrracccoooo annnnddd Haaarrrryyyy!!! Have you guys fainted yet so I can draw on your faces?

Harry and Draco: -.-

Harry: I have a better idea Ron.

Ron: Oh really?

Harry: ::smirks:: Yeah, it's a lot more fun than you drawing on our faces with Sharpies.

Ron: Really??!?! But nothing is more fun than that!

Harry: Oh this is TWICE as much fun.

Ron: Oooooo

Draco: ::catching on:: Yeah. Wanna know what it is Weasel Man?

Ron: ::nods head vigorously::

Harry: Well here it is. We knock YOU out

Draco: And then draw all over YOUR face with Sharpies.

Ron: O.o ummm that's not fun.

Harry: Maybe not for you

Draco: But it is for us.

Ron: Ummm Harry? Draco? Why are you walking all creepy like towards me?

Harry and Draco: ::sneaking up on Ron walking like vampires in a cheesy movie::

Ron: Harry? Stop it, you're scaring me.

Oliver: Oh Ron is so screwed.

Seamus: Well did you really think they were gonna let him get away with drawing all over their faces with Sharpies?

Oliver: Nope.

Draco: ::grabs a brick that has somehow appeared out of nowhere:: Say night night Weasel Man!

Ron: Um night night?

Draco: ::hits Ron on head with brick::

Ron: ::passes out:: X.x

Harry: Muhahahahahaha!!

Draco: ::cackles with Harry:: Muhahahahahaha!!!!

Harry and Draco: ::drag Ron out of room:: Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Oliver: O.o that was scary...

Seamus: You're telling me...

Neville: What? What happened? I was too busy eating yummy cake frosting that I found in the bookshelf.

Seamus and Oliver: ::fall over::

Neville: What? What'd I say?

Seamus and Oliver: -.-;;;;

George: Yo! Irish weirdo!

Fred: Get Scarry and Blondie and Midget Weasel back here.

Seamus: What about the Drag Eaters and Pansy?

George: Let them make themselves pretty.

Fred: Everyone knows they need all the help they can get.

Seamus: Ok. Olli! Blaise! Help!!

Blaise: Right-e-o mon capitan!

Seamus: I thought you were Italian?

Blaise: I am. I just like pretending I'm french.

Seamus: ::rolls eyes::

Blaise Seamus and Oliver: ::Go off and drag the very unhappy Harry and Draco away from Ron::

Draco: But I didn't get to draw all over his nose!!!!!!!

Harry: And I didn't get to give him little swirlies on his cheeks!!!

Draco and Harry: ::sobbing like little two year olds:: Whhhaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Seamus: -.-;;;;;; shut up you two, the Twins have an idea.

Harry: Oh. Why didn't you say so?

George: Our idea

Fred: Is the best we've ever though of

Seamus: really?

Fred and George: Really.

Draco: Well what is it?

George: That

Fred: Harry

George: Sings

Both: Just Lose It

Fred: Because everyone knows

George: That song just rocks our world.

Seamus: Really?

Fred and George: Really.

Harry: I thought pranks ruled your worlds?

Fred: No that's only on Tuesdays.

Harry: But it's Thursday, so amnesia should rock your worlds.

George: Well, Just Lose It and amnesia are currently dooking it out in our brains over ruling our worlds on Thursdays

Fred: There isn't a winner yet

George: So right now they get to share the day

Fred: Until one wins of course

George: Of course

Draco: -.-;;; you two are so weird.

Fred and George: Thank you.

Seamus: Well you heard the verdict Harry. Go sing!!

Harry: Verdict? We're in court now?

Seamus: You bet ya.

Harry: But...IT'S NOT FAIR!!! I'M TOO YOUNG!!!! I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!!!!!!!

Sirius and Remus: ::have suddenly gotten handkerchiefs and are sobbing into them:: Why?!?!? WHHYYYY?!??!

Draco: HOW COULD YOU BE SO COLD?!?!?!?!?

Harry: ::hugs Draco dramatically:: Don't let them take me away!!!

Draco: I'll never let go! Never!!!!!!!!!!!

Seamus: O.o this is really weird...

Oliver: Duh.

Seamus: Whatever. Come on Harry, time to sing ::grabs Harry by collar and halls him off towards mic::

Harry: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ::grabs Draco's hand:: DON'T LET GO BLONDIE!!!!!

Draco: OK!!!!!!!

Seamus: ::rolls eyes:: Ok that's enough you two. ::karate chops Draco's hand::

Draco: Ow!!! ::lets go and puts hand into mouth:: That hurt!!!

Harry: Nooooo!!!! T.T

Seamus: Works every time ::drags Harry off again::

Draco: Oops...

Harry: ::pouting:: So much for never letting go.

Draco: Tehe sorry ::looks sheepish::

Seamus: Ok stop being drama queens and start singing already Harry!

Harry: Fine

::Music starts::

Harry: ::dressed up in baggy clothes with beany on head:: Ok...

Guess who's back

Back again

Shady's back

Tell a friend

Now everyone report to the dance floor

To the dance floor, to the dance floor

Now everyone report to the dance floor

Alright stop...Pajama time

Draco: Um how did he change his clothes that fast?

Seamus: He's the Boy Who Lived.

Dean: He's special that way.

Draco: Oh. Cool.

Harry: Come here little kiddies, on my lap

Guess who's back with a brand new rap

And I don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation

Aah aah aah aah aah

No worries, pappa's got a brand new bag of toys

What else could I possibly do to make noise?

I done touched on everything but little boys

That's not a stab at Michael

That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho

I go a little bit crazy sometimes

I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes

Good god, dip, do a little slide

Bend down touch your toes and just glide

Up the center of the dance floor

Tee pee for my bunghole and it's cool if you let one go

Nobody's gonna know who'd hear it

Give a little poot poot, it's ok

Oops my cd just skipped

And everyone just heard you let one rip

Hermione: I never knew Harry knew how to rap

James: He is a very special boy. Not only can he defeat a Dark Lord, he can rap.

Hermione: AH! Aren't you supposed to be dead?!

Jame: Oh yeah huh. Woops. ::disappears::

Hermione: O.o that was really scary.

Harry: Now I'm gonna make you dance

Get your chance

Yeah boy shake that ass

Oops I mean girl girl girl girl

Girl you know you're my world

Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Aah aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby baby aah aah

Draco: O.o is Potter gay?!

Ron: No he's bi.

Hermione: RON!!!!

Draco: ::cackling:: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Blaise: ::snickering::

Hermione: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST TOLD HIM THAT RON!!!

Ron: T.T sorry

Draco: ::still cackling::

Harry: It's Friday and it's my dad

Used to party all the way to Sunday

Maybe till Monday, I dunno what day

Every day's just a holiday

Cruisin on the freeway

Feelin' kinda breezy

Got the top down, let my hair blow

I dunno where I'm goin'

All I know is when I get there

Someone's gonna touch my body

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk

But I'm feeling just a little stressed out from work

Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair

Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out...there

What's your name girl

What's your sign?

Dean: ::dressed as Dr. Dre:: Man, you must be out of your mind

Harry: Dre aah aah

Beer goggles blind

I'm just trying to unwind

Now I'm gonna make you dance

Get your chance

Yeah boy shake that ass

Oops I mean girl girl girl girl

Girl you know you're my world

Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Aah aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby aah aah

Draco: Muhahahahahahhahaa Harry likes boys. This is so sweet

Oliver: I'll say. ::drooling::

Draco: O.o

Seamus: O.o

Ron: Back off Wood. Harry already likes someone.

Draco Seamus and Oliver: REALLY??!?!? WHO?!?!?!?

Ron: I donno.

Oliver: ::chuckles:: Well it's gotta be me. Who can resist my devilish good looks?

Seamus Draco and Ron: ::roll eyes::

Harry: It's Tuesday and I'm locked up

I'm in jail and I don't know what happened

They say I was running butt naked

Down the street screaming

Aah aah aah aah aah

We'll I'm sorry, I don't remember

All I know is this much

I'm not guilty

They said save it

Boy we caught you on tape

Yelling at an old lady touch my body

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down

It's real intense no one makes a sound

Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now

The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves

A step back to reality

Look it's B.Rabbit

You signed me up to battle

I'm a grown man

Duba duba duba duba duba duba

I don't have any lines to go right here so

Duba duba duba duba fellas what? Fellas what?

Grab you left nut, make the right one jealous what?

Black girls

White girls

Skinny girls

Fat girls

Tall girls

Small girls

I'm calling all girls

Everyone report to the dance floor

It's your chance for a little romance whore

But squeezin it's the season

Just go aah aah aah aah

So appeasing

Now I'm gonna make you dance

Get your chance

Yeah boy shake that ass

Oops I mean girl girl girl girl

Girl you know you're my world

Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Ahh aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby aah aah aah

Mmmmm touch my body

Mmmmm touch my body

Ooh boy just touch my body

I mean girl just touch my body

::Music ends::

Hermione: HARRY JAMES POTTER!!!!

Harry: What?

Hermione: HOW COULD YOU SING SUCH A HORRIFIC SONG?!?!?!?

Harry: Hey they made me sing it! ::points at Fred George and Seamus::

Hermione: RAWR!!!! ::attacks Twins and Seamus::

Harry: Hehe ::grins evilly::

Draco: ::smirks:: So Potter, I hear you're bi?

Harry: ::shrugs:: Yeah well who isn't?

Draco: Good question.

Ron: Hey I'm straight!!!

Harry: This coming from the guy who's obsessed with drawing on unconscious people's faces with Sharpies?

Ron: Huh?

Draco: He's saying that you don't count. Jeez Weasel Man. Get with the game!

Ron: Huh?

Draco and Harry: ::snickering::

Ron: Am I the only one that thinks that you guys are acting like an old married couple?

Everyone: Yup

Ron: -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;

Voldemort: WE'RE DONE!!! ::comes out with curled hair and makeup done, making him look like a deranged Barbie::

Harry Draco and Ron: AAAHHHHH!!!!! ::run away screaming::

Voldemort: What? Oh my GOD! I must have something in my teeth!! AAHHH!!! FASHION EMERGENCY!!! LLUUCCCIIIUUUSSS!!!!

Lucius: Yes your royal evil gayness?

Voldemort: Bust out my cherry flavored floss from my purse! We have a tooth emergency!!!! ::runs into bathroom again::

Hermione: O.o that was scary. Ok guys! Guess what! I have an idea!!

Seamus: Shoot bushy girl.

Hermione -.- I resent that you know.

Seamus: I know. That's why I said it.

Hermione: ::rolls eyes:: Anyway, as I was saying. I have an idea and here it is!

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A/n: Wow this is a really long chappie...guess that song is longer than I thought. Tehe. Anyway, while this chapter wasn't quite as crazy as the last, I hope it's still good. Remember, please review with your feedback and song requests! Well, I'm out. Review and make me feel special and loved please!! :D


	4. Little Girls

Disclaimer: Oooooo!!!!!!!! BLONDIE!!!!!!!!! ::drooling::

Kuri: -.-;;; ok stop watching Harry Potter III, it's not good for you.

Ddc: Really? Because I think it is

Kuri: Well right now it isn't. Do the damn disclaimer

Ddc: But it's depressing!

Kuri: Enlighten us oh smart one. Why is it depressing.

Ddc: You know, I sense sarcasm in your voice

Kuri: Maybe that's because I'm being sarcastic.

Ddc: Shut up. Anyway, doing disclaimers is depressing because I wanna own Harry Potter!!!!!!!!! T.T

Kuri: But you don't, now suck it up you baby.

Ddc: Wwwhhhaaaaaaa T.T

A/n: Hello hello! Blame the early update on me and Kit (good friend of mine, almost as crazy as me. Makes me feel all warm inside on how much I've rubbed off on her tehehe) plotting our evil, crazy little hearts away for about 2 hours, and watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey. I mean the man is my hero! Nobody is cooler than him. Anyway, I'm updating early cus I'm very inspired to add a little chaos and mahem into everyone's lives. Oh yeah, how could I possibly forget? HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!!! And...reviewer responses!!!! :-D Happy days!!!

Kit: Hyde and Hide may be yours, but Blondie, Blondie II, Yoko, Hiei, K, Sano, Gackt, and a million others are mine! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA Ok I'm done. We must plot more Kit! More! MUHAHAHA ok I'm just going to stop right there before my evil cackling takes up the entire story.

Personz-of-da-dungoen: Weee!!!!! You should have seen me when I got your review. If I could glow up like a lightbulb, I would have. I LOVE GC!!!!! Weeeee I listened to them so much I got sick of them for a while. Woopsies tehe. Of course I' m going to continue!! I love writing these fics too much to not continue. :-D

Shadow Fox I: Oooo I like it!!! ::singing along to song:: So pretty, yet so not pretty at the same time. Tehe that makes no sense does it. Oh well, that happens a lot with me. I'll definitely use this song soon!

Lain-Iris: Tehehe who? I have NO idea WHATSOEVER as to who you're talking about. Tehe. I know, the only time I can stand SnapexHarry is when it's some dark fic where Harry's been captured by the Drag...I mean Death Eaters and they're raping him. And then Draco comes in and saves the day like a good little slash bunny boy. :-D Meeeeeeppppppp VoldiexHarry is scary, but I might use that in this fic so you have been warned. Tehe. Rambling is good for the brain my friend, never stop rambling on my behalf. Don't get me STARTED on procrastination, I'm the queen of it.

Grumbles: Tehe no worries, of course I'll email you when I post this chappie. Glad you think my fic is bloody hilarious, I try I really do.

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Hermione: ::tapping foot:: When are those three going to come back?!

Ron: ::runs back in screaming::

Hermione: -.-;;; have you been watching the Potter Puppet Pals by any chance?

Ron: No....bother!

Hermione: Don't you lie to me Ronald! You have!!

Ron: Hehe. Bother! Bother! Bother!

Hermione: Remember this part Ron? ::pulls out wand::

Ron: Ooooh yeah!! ::skips:: Follow the butterflies! Follow the butterflies! Follow the butterflies!

Hermione: Ronnicus Explodicus!

Ron: Ahhh! ::balloon with Ron's head drawn on explodes over his head::

Oliver: Ok enough random flirting you two. Where are my irritating competition and the sexy beast?

Ron: Making out in the backroom

Oliver Seamus Hermione Dean Sirius etc: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Ron: Yeah. It was scary

Oliver: ::sniffs:: They really are?

Ron: Hehe no I'm just screwing with you.

Seamus: -.-;;;;;;;

Voldemort: What is this I hear about screwing with Potter?

Oliver: Well if you must know Voldie Ron said that Draggy Jr. was making out with Harry in the backroom.

Voldemort: ::gasps:: NO!!! ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT!!! ::runs off::

Everyone: ::fall over::

Ron: He did NOT just say what I thought he said...

Hermione: ::gagging:: I think he did. Ahhh bad images.

Voldemort: ::comes in carrying Draco in one hand and Harry in another:: Now Draggy Jr., no making out with MY toy!

Harry: EW!!! DRACO YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Draco: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! HELL NO!!!!!!

Harry: Oh ok good. Then who's the skeleton drag queen talking about?

Voldemort: Ah young Harry, you must still be in the denial phase. Your innocent brain just can't accept that someone as hot and sexy as me would want you for their sex slave.

Harry: O.o somebody catch me ::faints::

Draco: ::has somehow gotten out of Voldemort's hand, catches Harry, and runs to the other side of the room::

Voldemort: DRAGGY JR.! Come back here RIGHT NOW with my toy or you're going to face my bondage gear!

Draco: O.o Somebody keep him away from me, he's scary.

Remus: Allow me. RAWR!!!!!! ::attacks Voldemort and starts trying to push him into the fireplace::

Voldemort: GET OFF ME YOU MUT!

Remus: NEVER DEMON WANNABE!!!! RRRAAAWWWRRRR!!!!

Sirius: Go Remus go! Burn the ugly guy!!!

Remus: Weeeee this is fun!!! BURN!!!!!!!

Harry: ::wakes up:: Hey Sirius, how come Remus is pushing Voldie into the fireplace all of a sudden?

Sirius: Well Harry, one thing you have to realize about Remus is that in addition to being a bisexual werewolf, he's also a bit of a pyromaniac and when he's sexually deprived he gets irresistible urges to burn people.

Harry: Oh. Then who gave him matches?

Fred: Don't look

George: At us

Fred: We're innocent

George: We swear

Harry: Uh huh. Right. Well that mystery's solved then.

Ron: There was a mystery?

Harry: Yup

Ron: HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS?!

Harry: Because you weren't paying attention?

Ron: Oh. Yeah, that would probably do it.

Hermione: ::rolls eyes:: Now Harry, are you going to tell us who you like?

Blaise: And Draco aren't you going to tell Ron who you like?

Harry and Draco: NO!

Blaise: Wait...no I'm supposed to do that huh. RON!!!! DRACO LIKES....

Lucius: ::strolls out of bathroom swinging Purse Snape around and accidentally hits Blaise in the head with it:: Ah to be gay. It's such a beautiful, beautiful thing. ::whistling::

Draco: Meep! ::hides behind Harry:: Make my dad go away, he's scary when he whistles.

Harry: Why? Does he whistle cheerfully just before he whips you or something?

Draco: No...worse.

Harry: O.o what's worse than that?!

Draco: He whistles right before he makes me dress up in little dresses like a girl!

Harry: -.-;;;;;; I always thought you might be a crossdresser...

Draco: HEY! He MADE me do it!!!!!

Harry: And how was that?

Draco: Well he threatened to not give me any cookies for a week. It was a scary, scary thing. Gave me nightmares for weeks you know. I mean, no cookies for a week! It's enough to traumatize you for life!!

Harry: ::rolls eyes and moves away:: Hey Blondie Senior! Draco's over here if you were looking for him.

Draco: O.o HARRY!!!! Meep!!! ::hides behind Harry again::

Lucius: Oh good! Harry! Draco! You two will be perfect! Both of you come here, I have the prettiest matching pink dresses that would fit you sooo well.

Harry and Draco: O.o AAAHHH!!! ::run off screaming again.::

Hermione: They do that a lot don't they...

Ron: Yeah...spooky huh.

Blaise: ::wakes up:: Owww. Oh yeah! Ron! Come here! I gotta tell you who he likes!

Ron: Oooooo blackmailness! Fun fun fun!

Blaise: ::whispers in Ron's ear::

Ron: O.o ::faints::

Blaise: Tehe.

Lucius: ::pouts:: Those two are never any fun. Oh well. Sevvy will do! ::turns Snape back into a human:: Come on Sevvy! I wanna dress you up in a pretty pink dress!! ::skips::

Snape: ::sighs:: Why me???

Voldemort: ::trying to keep Remus from pushing him into the fire:: WAIT! GAY MINIONS!!! SSSAAAVVEEEEEE MMMEEEE!!!!

Lucius: Sorry your royal gayness! I have to dress Sevvy up in a pretty pink dress first, THEN we'll save you from being burned alive in an impossibly small fireplace that is too small for anyone to fit into.

Voldemort: Oh, alright then I can wait a few minutes.

Remus: BBBUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!! O.O

Hermione: Professor Lupin, could you please not look like a crazed, deranged psycho? It's scaring the younger children!

Remus: Huh?

Hermione: ::points at random first years who are playing Exploding Snap in the corner:: See what you've done!! They're in the CORNER!! THE CORNER!!! O.O

Remus: Um...right. Whatever. I'll stop in a second. BBBUUURRRRNNNN UUUGGGLLLYYYY!!! BUURRRNNN!!! O.O

Draco: ::pokes head around corner:: I think it's all clear now Potter

Harry: You called me Harry earlier...

Draco: Yeah well I was in a very traumatizing position. Don't get used to it.

Harry: ::snickers:: Whatever you say Blondie.

Draco: Right.

Ron: ::wakes up, sees Draco, gags, and passes out again: X.x

Draco: Ummm...ok then. Wait...he passed out at the sight of me. OH MY GOD!!! THERE MUST BE A HAIR MISPLACED!!! AAHHHHHH!!! HAIR EMERGENCY!! NOT MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!! ::runs off into bathroom::

Harry: -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Hermione: Do you think he knows that his dad is dressing Snape up in a little girls' dress in there?

Harry: Probably not.

Hermione: 3

Harry: 2

Blaise: 1

Draco: ::runs into room screaming:: EEEWWWW I SAW SNAPE'S BARE LEGS!!!!!!!!!

Harry: O.o that would scare me too...

Blaise: Were they dark and hairy and covered with grotesque spots???

Hermione: We need details Malfoy!! Details!!!

Draco: ::shuddering:: It was even worse...they were...

Hermione Blaise and Harry: Yeeesss????

Draco: Smooth!!!!!!

Hermione Blaise and Harry: ::gasp dramatically::

Harry: That's disgusting...

Blaise: Ew I didn't need to think about that...

Hermione: Ok that's wrong. I HAVE MY IDEA TO SAY!!!!

Seamus: Well that was random

Hermione: Shut it leprechaun. Ok my idea is to have Snape sing Little Girls.

Harry: O.o HERMIONE! Are you TRYING to scare us?!

Hermione: Have you ever heard that song Harry?

Harry: No and I don't need to! The idea of Snape singing is just plain disturbing

Hermione: ::smirking:: Oh trust me, you want him to sing this song. Someone go get him please!

Draco: HEY! That's MY smirk!! It's copyrighted to ME!! MEE!!!!!!!

Harry: I thought "Weasel Man" was copyrighted to you.

Draco: I have both. Cus I'm a special little butterfly. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Harry: -.-;;; someone stop him please.

Sirius: ::drags in Snape dressed in a pink dress with white stockings and black sandals on:: Come on dark and gruesome, time to sing.

Snape: Why are you making me sing?! I've almost been pushed into a fireplace. I've been turned into a purse. I'm dressed in a bloody DRESS, what more do you want from me?!?!

Sirius: But Snapey, you know that torturing you is our favorite past time.

Harry: Yeah, it's just too fun to resist.

Snape: I'm going to give you ALL detention for ETERNITY!

Dumbledore: Sorry Snape, only Headmasters can give students detention for eternity.

Snape: Oh. Shoot ::pouts::

Dumbledore: Now start singing or I'm going to fire you.

Snape: O.o yes sir!

::music starts::

Snape: ::mumbles 'I can't believe I'm singing this in this outfit':: I, I, I love little girls they make me feel so good

I love little girls they make me feel so bad

When they're around they make me feel

Like I'm the only guy in town

I love little girls they make me feel so good

Harry: ::rolling on the floor laughing his ass off::

Ron: ::wakes up, sees Snape in a dress, and passes out again:: X.x

Hermione: ::smirks:: I told you you'd like it Harry

Harry: ::laughing too hard to answer::

Snape: ::glaring at them:: They don't ask me questions

They don't want to scold me

They don't look for answers

They just want to hold me

Isn't this fun?

Isn't this what life's all about?

Isn't this a dream come true?

Isn't this a nightmare too?

I, I, I love little girls they make me feel so good

I love little girls they make me feel so bad

When they're around they make me feel

Like I'm the only guy in town

I love little girls they make me feel so good

Draco: This is very disturbing...

Blaise: What? Harry dying or Snape singing?

Draco: Both...are people supposed to turn purple after laughing?

Blaise: ::snickers:: You really need to learn to laugh Draco

Draco: Shut up.

Snape: They don't care about my inclinations

They're not frightened by my revelations...

Uh oh take a second take

Uh oh it's a mistake

Uh oh I'm in trouble

Uh oh the little girl was just too little

Too little, too little, too little

Isn't this what life's all about?

Isn't this a dream come true?

Isn't this a nightmare too....

And I don't care what people say

And I don't care what people think

And I don't care how we look walking down the street

Hermione: Breath Harry, breath!

Harry: ::choking and laughing at same time::

Hermione: HARRY!! Somebody help him!!!!

Draco: Get out of the way. ::slaps Harry across the face: GET A GRIP HARRY!

Harry: ::stops choking:: Yo Draco, what's up?

Draco: ::rolls eyes::

Harry: ::sees Snape dancing around in pink dress and starts laughing hysterically again::

Snape: They don't care if I'm a one way mirror

They're not frightened by my cold exterior

They don't ask me questions

They don't want to scold me

They don't look for answers

They just want to hold me

Uh oh take a second take

Uh oh it's a mistake

Uh oh I'm in trouble

Uh oh the little girl was just too little

Too little, too little, too little

Isn't this what life's all about?

Isn't this a dream come true?

Isn't this a nightmare too...

I, I, I love little girls they make me feel so good

I love little girls they make me feel so bad

When they're around they make me feel

Like I'm the only guy in town

I love little girls they make me feel so good

::music ends::

Harry: ::choking again while laughing::

Hermione: Draco, you're the only one that can literally knock some sense into him, so get him to stop choking! NOW! O.O

Draco: ::whimpers:: Meep! I will! I will! Just get rid of the crazed psycho bitch look, it's scarier than Lupin's!

Hermione: Oh, sorry.

Draco: ::shakes Harry:: Potter! If you don't stop choking I'm going to kiss you then screw you senseless!

Harry: ::stops laughing and choking and stares at Draco in shock:: O.o

Draco: There, my work is done. ::walks off to stand next to Blaise::

Harry: ::faints:: X.x

Snape: Am I quite done humiliating myself NOW?

Lucius: ::comes out:: No sorry Sevvy! Now we gotta do your hair up in pretty little curls! You make such a pretty little girl! ::skips out pulling on Snape's hand::

Snape: T.T

Blaise: Yo Seamus! I got the PERFECT idea for the next song.

Seamus: ::still in shock over seeing Snape sing in a pink dress:: Go...right...ahead...O.o

Blaise: ::grins evilly:: Oh this will be so great...

Draco: Why do I get the feeling you're going to kill me?

Blaise: Because I am Blondie, because I am.

Draco: O.o meep.

Blaise: ::cackling:: Muhahahahahahahhahahahaha!

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A/n: And that's all for now folks! Review again to see what Blaise's idea is, trust me it's good. Oh yeah, here's a little encouragement to review:

Teasers for next chappie:

Crushes revealed! (I can never keep secrets for long in these fics tehe)

Draco singing one of the most out of character song he can possibly sing

Fanclubs are created!

So you see? You want to review so I update faster. :-D until then!


	5. Holding Out For A Hero

Disclaimer: ::giggling::

Kuri: -.- oh no not aggaaiiinnnn

Ddc: Yup again!!!! Weeeeeeeeee

Kuri: You really gotta get over that whole thing

Ddc: I know, but I don't wanna.

Kit: ::magically appears:: Are you STILL spazzing over your d...

Ddc: ::clamps hand over Kit's mouth:: Shush Kit!!!! It's a secret!!!

Kit: No it's not, you've told half the world already.

Ddc: Oh well. The other half doesn't need to know. And how'd you get in here anyway?

Kit: I'm just special that way. And you don't own anything. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ddc: T.T even my job at doing the disclaimer has been stolen! Will I ever be something in this cold, cruel world?!

Kit and Kuri: No

Ddc: -.-

A/n: Ok people. This is the chapter. The chapter that everyone's been waiting for. Actually, no not really. But it is the chapter where crushes are revealed and the small plot that existed in this fic goes away and randomness takes over completely, which is always a good thing I think. Tehe. Anyway, I don't wanna take up too much of your time with my rambling, so I'll just say thank you so much for the reviews, keep em coming please because I love/need all the suggestions that you guys can give me, and here are the reviewer responses

Kit: Wow Kit, you're everywhere right now! Tehehe. Of course Snape in a dress is more amusing than Lucius, it's Snape!!! I mean, Lucius is one of the gayest characters in Harry Potter, Draco being the most. Tehe ok maybe not, but in my mind he is!! Tehe. ELECTRIC CUCUMBER ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!!!! ::singing:: Crawling on my hands and knees like some rubber cockroach in a strip tease. Tehe I'll never be able to understand Japanese guys' minds.

Shadow Fox I: Tehehe weee!!!! I got a fellow partier!!! All right!!! By the way your song is gonna be used hopefully in 2 or 3 chapters, so you can attack me if it's not up by then. :-p

Personz-of-da-dungoen: Yup!! You get to find out this chappie! Isn't it exciting? Tehehe. Trust me, if I manage to write it out right then Blaise's idea is going to be very interesting, and hopefully funny. Tehe hope you like this chappie too!!!

Harrypotter, move over: Oooo I didn't know you two were sisters!! You're like Duo and Wya!! Tehe sorry, they're some of my writer friends and fellow Chaos Girls. POTTER PUPPET PALS ROCK MY SOCKS!!!!!!! Just like the song Electric Cucumber by Hide. Tehehehe. Don't worry you'll find out who You-Know-Who is. And who knows? It could be Voldie. Teheheheheheheheheheehehehe that'd be interesting...

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Seamus: Has anyone else noticed that it takes us at least 30 minutes for someone to say their song idea?

Blaise: Yeah.

Seamus: Why?!

Blaise: It raises the suspense level.

Dean: Duh.

Oliver: Get a grip fellow non-British guy with a cool accent.

Seamus: Fellow non-British guy with a cool accent?

Oliver: Yeah. What can I say? It was on the spur of the moment! Don't sue me!!!

Dean: Why would he sue you?

Seamus: Sew you? Why would I put a needle and thread through you and make clothes out of you?

Oliver: -.-;;; not sew idiot, sue. It's a muggle term.

Seamus: Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?!!?!?!

Blaise: Isn't it obvious? You're the all-knowing Irish oracle man, also known as Fellow Non-British Guy With A Cool Accent.

Seamus: ...are you high?

Blaise: Nope. I'm always like this.

Draco: ::whispers:: His mom had one too many sedative potions giving birth to him.

Seamus: Ah. Explains everything.

Blaise: What was that Blondie and Fellow Non-British Guy With A Cool Accent? You guys talking bad about me behind my back?!

Draco: No, because we aren't behind your back, we're actually standing in front of you.

Blaise: AH HA! SO YOU ARE!!!

Seamus: ::crosses arms:: Yeah, what of it Mr. I Act High Naturally?

Blaise: ::turns into a mini version of the Hulk:: RRAAAWWWRRRR!!!! ::charges Seamus::

Seamus: HOLY SNAPE'S SOCKS!!!! ::runs away::

Draco: ::smirking:: Oops. Guess I forgot to tell him that he also had an experimental batch of genetically enhanced DNA injected into him after birth. Oh well. That's what happens when you're ignorant. So the moral of this story kiddies: Don't insult random Slytherins. They could secretly be monsters.

Hermione: Exactly who are you talking to?

Draco: ::points at a bunch of dolls:: Them of course. My dad left them out here, so I thought I'd teach them about life before their innocent, virgin minds are corrupted by the sight of Voldie, Dad, and Snapey in dresses doing each others' hair and makeup.

Hermione: O.o are you sure YOUR mom didn't have one too many sedative potions while giving birth to you?

Draco: Yes I am sure.

Lucius: ::pokes head out of door:: Instead she dropped him about 10 times. Narcissa's such a butterfingers! I mean, there was this one time where she was trying to fix the front buttons of my dress and her hand slipped down underneath the dress. Such a strange woman. Ok Draco, give me the dolls!

Draco: Noooooo they're my friends!!!!!

Lucius: No they aren't, they're inanimate objects. ::takes dolls:: Now don't let me catch you talking to them again about life, it's more fun to traumatize them when they don't know anything about life. If I catch you again you'll have to wear a pink tutu for two days!

Draco: O.o yes dad.

Hermione: You have a very interesting family Malfoy...

Draco: -.-;;;;; don't I know it...

Harry: ::wakes up:: Huh? What happened?

Ron: Oh nothing really. Just Oliver calling Seamus Fellow Non-British Guy With A Cool Accent, then Blaise saying he was the all-knowing Irish oracle also known as Fellow Non-British Guy With A Cool Accent and then Blaise turned into some green thing and chased Seamus around after Draco told him that Blaise's mom had one too many sedative potions while giving birth to him and then Lucius told us that Draco was dropped about 10 times as a baby cus she's a butterfingers and that's why he was talking to some dolls about life before their innocent, virgin minds are corrupted by the Drag Eaters doing each others' hair and makeup.

Harry: That's all?

Ron: Yeah, really pretty boring actually.

Harry: Sounds it.

Blaise: ::comes back in with only magically still intact pants on:: Well that was fun.

Draco: How did all of your clothes get wrecked except your pants?

Blaise: It's a PG-13 party here, you can make out and talk as pervy or swear as much as you want, but unless you're a girl without a shirt on there is no nudity.

Harry: ::nods:: Yeah Blondie, didn't you know that?

Draco: Nope. I'm so sorry that I don't understand that this party is rated PG-13. Please, please forgive me.

Harry: ::smirking:: Maybe, but only if you're good ::pushes Draco up against a wall again:: How good ARE you Blondie?

Draco: O.o meep

Oliver: Oi!!! Wonderman! No more flirting with Blondie, you know you want me.

Harry: ::blinks:: Huh?

Oliver: Don't play dumb Wonderman! I know that I'm You-Know-Who.

Harry: Um...no Voldemort is You-Know-Who.

Oliver: O.o YOU LIKE VOLDIE?!?!?!

Harry: O.o ARE YOU MENTAL?!?!?!

Draco: O.o WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING WITH HUGE EYES?!?!?!

Harry: ::falls over:: Way to ruin the shocked, dramatic mood Blondie.

Draco: ::bows:: Thank you, thank you. I try, I really do.

Harry: ::raises eyebrow and smirks:: Try at what, exactly?

Draco: -.- stop doing that, it's creepy.

Harry: ::moves up closer to him:: What is?

Draco: ::gulps:: You smirking and pinning me up against a wall. Stop.

Harry: ::snickers:: But you LIKE it.

Draco: ::glares:: No I don't!

Harry: ::snickers more:: Little Blondie says otherwise.

Draco: ::blushes:: Shut it!

Harry: Tehe. Ok.

Draco: ::pushes him back then pins him up against a wall:: Good, I'm glad you see it my way.

Harry: O.o how did this happen?!

Draco: Didn't you know? I'm secretly the Flash. I'm faster than a speeding bullet!

Ron: I thought Superman was faster than a speeding bullet.

Draco: Whatever. Stop interrupting me Weasel Man! Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Flirting with Boy-Who-Lived in a dominant way because unlike my dad I'm not a sub.

Harry: O.o your dad's a sub?!!??!!

Draco: Well DUH! He's in a freakin' DRESS!

Harry: Oh yeah huh. That would explain a lot.

Draco: It does, doesn't it?

Pansy: DRRAAACCOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ONLY PIN **ME** UP AGAINST WALLS!!!!

Draco: ::snorts:: Says who?

Pansy: ::pulls out a script:: SAYS THE SCRIPT!!!!

Draco: What script?

Pansy: THE ONE I MADE UP FIVE MINUTES AGO!

Draco: ::reads script out loud:: Scene 1. Draco makes out with the loveable, beautiful, and drop dead sexy Pansy while she's pinned to a wall. Scene 2. Draco makes out with the loveable, beautiful, drop dead sexy Pansy while she's pinned to a wall. Scene 3. Draco makes out with the loveable, beautiful, drop dead sexy Pansy while she's pinned to a wall. Scene 4. Draco dies horrible dramatic death saving the loveable, beautiful, and drop dead sexy Pansy from certain death by the hands of the Drag Eaters. Scene 5. The loveable, beautiful, and drop dead sexy Pansy elopes with Voldie and lives happily ever after making out with him while being pinned to a wall.

Cho: ::sniffs:: That was...::sniff::...so beautiful Pansy! I had no idea you wrote romantic tragedies!!

Harry: OhmygodjustkillmeNOW!

Draco: Wait!!! Don't forget about me!!!!

Harry: Ok. OhmygodjustkillusNOW!!!

Blaise: Not before Draco sings Holding Out For A Hero!!!!!

Draco: O.o ok really. Kill me now.

Harry: O.O SWEET!!!!!!!!!!

Blaise: ::smirks:: Told you I had a good idea.

Draco: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!

Blaise and Harry: Yes it is.

Draco: No it's not!!!

Blaise and Harry: Yes it is.

Draco: No, I really think it isn't.

Blaise: Well, we really think it is.

Harry: ::leans over and whispers into Draco's ear:: If you're good you'll get a reward.

Draco: Oooo I like rewards. What is it?

Harry: ::smirks and licks his ear:: You'll just have to wait and find out Blondie

Draco: ::blushing::

Ron: Is everyone gonna find out who Blondie likes now?

Oliver: BLONDIE LIKES SOMEONE TOO?!?! WHO!!!

Draco: Snape.

Oliver: O.o REALLY?!

Draco: NO YOU IDIOT!

Oliver: Ok good. Cus he's mine you know.

Draco: O.o ::getting ready to faint::

Blaise: Oh no you don't. ::pushes Draco up to place where mic is:: You're not fainting until AFTER you sing.

Draco: T.T you're so mean to me.

Blaise: Yeah I know. Suck it up and take it like a man!

Harry: ::snickers:: You have no idea how wrong that just sounded.

Draco: Ew you're right.

Blaise: ::Rolls eyes:: Ok you perverts, you managed to twist a perfectly innocent phrase into something...perverted and twisted. Now start singing Blondie!!!!

::Music starts::

Draco: ::singing while clutching chest dramatically:: Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Harry: Oo! Oo!! ME! ME!!

Draco: ::giggles:: Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need?

Blaise: ::snickers:: The only thing he needs is to suck it up and take it like a man

Harry: ::grins evilly::

Draco: ::glares at Blaise:: I need a hero!

I'm holding out for a hero till then end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from thge fight

I need a hero!

I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

Larger than life

Harry: Ooo I fit all the criteria! Except the battle thing...but I can fix that! ::runs off to fight the dreaded Drag Eaters in the bathroom::

Blaise: ::rolls eyes::

Ron: Ooo Blondie sounds like a girl!

Hermione:: ::snickers:: Bet he sounds even more girly in bed...

Blaise: O.o Granger! I'm shocked!!

Hermione: You shouldn't be

Ron: She's really a kinky sex kitten in disguise

Hermione: No that's Harry

Ron: Oh right. Never mind then.

Draco: Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasies

Somewhere just beyond my reach

There's someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat

It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I could swear that there's someone somewhere

Watching me

Hermione: That's probably just Snape or Harry...

Blaise: What?

Hermione: ::whistles:: Nothing, nothing

Blaise: You mean You-Know-Who is Draco?!

Hermione: Well DUH! Harry's only had him pinned up against a wall how many times now?

Blaise: I thought that that was him toying with him!

Hermione: No that's Harry's idea of being romantic -.-;;;

Blaise: ::snickers:: Draco's gonna be happy...

Hermione: Why is that?

Ron: ::giggling:: Blondie has a crush on Harry!

Hermione: O.o

Draco: Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach

Like the fire in my blood

Like a fire in my blood

Hero

I need a hero!

I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light

And he's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

Hero

Oh I need a hero!

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero!

::music ends::

Harry: ::stumbles out of bathroom with makeup smeared over his face and nail polish running along the floor:: I did it! I'm fresh from the fight!

Drag Eaters: ::screaming in anguish over ruined hair and makeup and spilled nail polish::

Draco: ::squeals:: YAY!!!! ::hugs Harry:: My hero!!

Harry: Yay!!! I'm a hero!!!

Draco: Tehe.

Harry: Wait...does this mean what I think it means?

Draco: That I like you? Yes.

Harry: ::sniffs:: I like you too!

Draco: ::eyes watering:: I thought...::sniffs::...that you wouldn't look over the fact that we were mortal enemies for years and that my dad's a Drag Eater...::sobs and buries face into Harry's neck:: Oh Harry!!!

Harry: ::strokes Draco's hair:: It's ok love, everything's going to be ok now that we are together.

Draco: ::sniffs:: You...you mean it?

Harry: Of course.

Draco: ::grins:: Ok then! Now you can kiss me!

Harry: Ok!

Draco and Harry: ::making out::

Everyone: O.o

Hermione: Ok what was that right there?

Blaise: That would be them making fun of every single romantic movie, book, and fanfiction ever made.

Ron: Oh.

Seamus: ::stumbles in, sees Draco and Harry making out, and rolls eyes:: Took them long enough. Ok guys, my turn for a song idea.

Blaise: Right-e-o Fellow Non-British Guy With A Cool Accent

Seamus: -.- you're never going to stop calling me that are you.

Blaise: Nope.

Seamus: Damn

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A/n: Tehehe well that was a ton of fun to write. Especially the ending. And by the way, don't take that last bit personally, all my fics besides these random karaoke ones are romances too, I just couldn't resist making fun of em though there. Anyway, that's it for chapter 5, please review so I can post chapter 6 soon!!! And don't forget to send in your requests!!! :-D


	6. You Can't Touch This

Disclaimer: Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Kuri: Shut up

Ddc: MAKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Kuri: Ok. ::throws a brick at ddc::

Ddc: Gah ::passes out:: xX

Kuri: She owns nothing except her own twisted, perverted ideas.

Ddc: ::wakes up:: Oh yeah you know it!!!!!!!!! mmm candy canes

Kuri: -.-;;; you're hopeless

Ddc: Thank you.

A/n: Oh my GOD!!! ::gets hit with lightening for using god's name in vain:: HEY! That wasn't very nice! Anyway, before I was so RUDELY interrupted ::glares at sky:: You Guys Rock My Non-existent Socks off!!!!!!! No really you do. 11 reviews for one chapter!!! I'm serious, every time I went to my yahoo homepage I saw the little "New Mail" thingy showing up and whenever I clicked on it it was another review for this fic! Ok maybe not EVERY TIME, but it sure felt like it! You guys rock my socks!!! Especially RadcliffeRox24 and Killyjoy for reviewing 2 and 3 times. I'll answer all of your reviews too so feel special and loved like I did when I got your reviews :-D Anyway, 3 more days until Christmas so this is part of my special little Christmas present to all my fav people in the world, my readers. My friends at school already got enough stuff from me tehe.

Kit: Muhahaha of course it was too funny! I made it!! Tehe jk jk. Ok ok you're right, the "eat me beat me treat me like your favorite backdoor whore" is the best line in Electric Cucumber. CANDY CANES!!!!!!!!!!!! Pez dispensers tehehe. Snape Jr. goes bark bark!! Tehehe I'm hyper again.

D&G: Tehehehehe I'm glad you think the Snape torturing is cool, means I don't have to beg for forgiveness which is good cus that really hurts my knees. Tehehe. So glad that you liked my last couple of chappies DG, I've missed ya. Talk to ya later crazy girl!

Killyjoy: Tehehe I gotta listen to that song, I've never heard it before. Sounds funny though :-D thanks so much for all 3 of your reviews, I'm answering all of them by the way tehe.

KillyJoy II: Oh my god I love you! In a non-lesbian way of course tehe. That is so frickin' hilarious!!! I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and something!! ::rolling around laughing hysterically:: You rock my socks, you really do.

Lain-Iris: Tehehehe I told you don't give up on me yet. ALL my harry potter fics are gonna end up having dracoxharry in them, they just look so cute together!!! :-D I'm sorry it took so long, but don't worry. I'll make it up to you by putting in a ton of make out and groping scenes in the next few chappies. :-D

RadcliffeRox24: Sorry the first chapter was kinda dull, they always are in my fics. I just can never get the first one funny enough! But things usually end up picking up by the second or third, so I hope that you like the rest of them too. Thanks for the double reviews!

RadcliffeRox24 II: I take it that the rest of the fic isn't quite as boring as the first chapter then? :-D thanks, I really think that the fic title matches the fic itself. I mean, every comedy I end up writing is complete chaos. :-D thanks again for the reviews!

Raging Pheonix: PHEONIX!!! Omg you're reviewing a non-yyh fic of mine!! ::gasps dramatically then glomps you:: YAY!!! Tehehe. Oh, that's funny. The lyrics I was using for Holding Out For A Hero and my mp3 of the song are the way I put them into this fic. Hmmm...maybe the movie version of the song is different? ::is confused:: Oh thanks Pheonix, I love ya too. "got bored, decided to read" tehehe. You're so crazy

Killyjoy III: Tehehe don't worry, run around and spaz as much as you want. It's good for you, it really is. Random reviews rock my socks, just like the idea of Voldie singing I Feel Pretty. Gotta check up on your other suggestion though. Oh yeah, and I'll use the I Feel Pretty one soon, but first I gotta do 3 other song suggestions that just fic the non-existent plot and my own twisted form of humor. Tehe. But don't worry, that idea is too funny not to use.

Draco Rox Mai Sox: Oooo I love your new pen name. Draco rocks my socks too :-D I'm continuing, I'm continuing. Merry Christmas and thanks for the review! You and Draco and many other things rock my socks.

Shadow Fox I: Tehe you should feel special Shadow, because you are special. Yes!! I'm so happy I finally cracked and got to the yummy slashness of this fic and of course the making out. I mean, nothing is better than slash and making out in a fic, right?

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Hermione: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ron: WHERE?!?!??!?!?!

Blaise: O.o where did THAT come from?

Fred: They really like

George: Cheese

Harry: ::sitting on Draco's lap:: Except don't even TRY to give them lollipops.

Blaise: Why not?

Harry: Because Hermione starts licking it all seductively then Ron jumps her and it's really not a very pretty sight if you ask me.

Draco: Ooo if I give you a lollipop will you do that for me?

Harry: Only if you're a good little Blondie.

Voldemort: ::still being pushed into fireplace by Remus:: GGAYYY MIIINNIOONNNSS!!!!

Lucius: ::pokes head out of bathroom door:: Yes your royal Queerness?

Ron: Does he make up a new name for Voldie every time he sees him?

Draco: Yup. He's kinda running low on ideas though, seeing as he's been doing this for...umm...twenty years?

Hermione: Wow Draco, your dad is really creative.

Draco: O.o you are NOT drooling...

Hermione: ::drooling::

Draco: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! ::hides face in Harry's neck::

Harry: Oh stop over reacting Blondie. She just saw some cheesenips over by the bathroom.

Ron: Where? I don't see any.

Hermione: ::runs and jumps on Lucius:: I llooovveee creative men! O.O

Ron, Harry, Draco, and Lucius: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucius: EEKK!!! GET HER OFF!!! GET HER OFF!!!!!

Hermione: RAWR! ::drags Lucius off into distant door in the back::

Lucius: ::sobbing:: SOMEBODY SSAAAVVVEEEE ME!!!!!!!!!!

Snape: ::pokes head out door with his hair in curlers:: Oh dear. I'M COMING BLONDIE SR!!!!!!

Oliver: ::drooling:: Oh no you're not ::jumps Snape and drags him off into the other distant door in the back::

Snape: AAAHHHH!!!!!!! Wait, no. This is a muscular, Scottish Quidditch player. What am I doing?!?! TAKE ME I'M YOURS!!!!!

Oliver: ::cackles then does the victory dance before closing door::

Everyone: O.o

Harry: I'm officially scared

Draco: Me too

Ron: You know what usually gets me from being unscared?

Seamus: What?

Ron: A nice make out session. Pucker up Harry!

Harry: Oh HELL NO! ::jumps off Draco's lap and hides behind him, using him as a human shield:: You are NOT making out with me just because your girlfriend is currently raping Blondie Sr.

Ron: Fine. Be that way. Pucker up Draco!!!!

Draco: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ::jumps into Harry's arms:: Don't let him touch me!!!! He'll give me rabies!!!!

Ron: Fine then. THREESOME!!!!!! Pucker up you two!!!

Harry and Draco: AAAHHHHHH!!! ::run to other side of the room::

Draco: Quick! Before he can steal us from each other so we have to act out a dramatic, tragic love scene again! Kiss me!!!

Harry: Thought you'd never ask ::makes out with Draco::

Ron: Awwwwwww no fair. But that's ok. Oh Seeeaaammmuuussss!!!

Seamus: O.o ::backing up against a wall:: Somebody do something!!

Blaise: ::walks by whistling and casually knocks Ron out with a baseball bat:: Does that count as something?

Seamus: THANK YOU!!!! ::hugs Blaise::

Blaise: Yes yes yes I know, I rock your socks off. Now are you gonna just hug me or do something about it. ::smirks::

Seamus: ::raises eyebrow:: Define something.

Blaise: Oh it's nothing really, just giving me the best make out session I've ever had.

Seamus: Fine, but only cus you saved me from the scary red one. ::makes out with Blaise::

::2 random girls come in::

Random girl #1: Wow...

Random girl #2: Everyone's making out!

Harry: ::stops making out with Draco:: Woah who are you?

Random girl #1: I'm DDC!

Random girl #2: And I'm Kit

Ddc: We're part of the Chaos Girls!

Kit: But the others were too busy sleeping and stuff to come this time.

Draco: Others?

Ddc: Yeah there are seven of us, including me and Kit.

Kit: We always show up at these karaoke parties and do really weird things when the parties start getting boring.

Ddc: But I guess we aren't needed right now ::sobs::

Kit: ::rolls eyes:: Stop being a drama queen, you KNOW you like that everyone's making out

Ddc: Yeah I guess so. But still, it's kinda boring. We need to do something!

Seamus: Go away! We're having fun here!

Voldemort: ::still being pushed into fireplace:: I'M NOT!! SSSAAAVVVEEE MEEEE!!!!!!!

Remus: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This'll teach you to be a stupid villain!!! ::cackling::

Sirius: ::watching from couch sipping a margarita:: This is pure entertainment right here.

Ddc: ::rolls eyes:: Well besides Voldie may be having fun but it's STILL boring. Kit! Bust our your dance moves!

Kit: O.o no way!

Ddc: Awww not even the funky chicken dance? Or the monkey?

Kit: -.- remind me again why I put up with you?

Ddc: Because you llloooovvveeee me and we're eloping to Hawaii once we get more boy problems.

Kit: GAH!

Ddc: Tehehe that gets her every time.

Pansy: Ooo so you guys are like a lesbian couple?

Ddc and Kit: O.o

Ddc: NOOOOO!!!!!

Kit: She just says that whenever I complain about not having a boyfriend. Look what you've done baka! You've got them thinking I'm a lezzy! NOW I'LL NEVER GET A BOYFRIEND!!! ::Sobs::

Ddc: ::rolls eyes:: And you call me a drama queen. -.-;;; And don't baka me!

Kit: Baka!

Ddc: Baka baka baka vaka baka baka baka

Kit: Vaka?

Ddc: What? It means cow in spanish.

Kit: ::falls over:: Here we are calling each other idiots in Japanese and YOU call me a cow in Spanish.

Ddc: Yup. Tehe I win.

Kit: Oh you are so dead ::drags Ddc away:: Bye you guys! Oh yeah, and Dobby should be showing up in about 2 seconds::

Dobby: ::appears:: Hello?

Harry: O.o Draco I'm scared

Draco: Me too

Harry: Make the scary girls go away

Dobby: Masters Harry and Draco? Is you being scared? Dobby will defend masters!!! ::starts waving around a wooden spoon:: DIE PEOPLES WHO SCARES MASTERS!!!!

Neville: You know, he sounds like someone familiar.

Dean: What are you talking about? He sounds like Gollum! Looks like him too

Neville: Gollum?

Dean: Yeah you know. Myyyyyy pprrreeeccciiiooousssss!! RRAAWWWRRR!!!!!

Neville: O.o meep!! Scary Dean!!! ::runs away::

Dean: -.- it was just an impersonation.

Seamus: ::finally pulls away from Blaise after 6 minutes:: Ok you guys, my turn for a song idea.

Draco: Wow you can sure hold your breath for a long time

Harry: Didn't you know? He's half fish

Draco: Ooooo really? I WANNA SEE THE GILLS!!!! ::jumps up and down::

Seamus: What the hell? Whatever. ::ignores the bouncing Draco:: Anyway, since the fierce warrior armed with a kitchen spoon is here, I say Dobby sings U Can't Touch This.

Dobby: ::stops swinging spoon:: Dobby gets to sing?

Seamus: Yup.

Dobby: ::runs up and hugs Seamus:: Oh thank you thank you thank you kind master!! You bes too nice for poor Dobby! How can Dobby ever repay you?

Seamus: By singing the song and by not squeezing me to death.

Dobby: Oh. Ok!

Draco: ::still bouncing:: I wanna see the gills I wanna see the gills I wanna see the gills

Harry: Draco? By any chance are you part bunny?

Draco: No, but I do have the cutest bunny rabbit for a pet! (a/n: READ DRAGON TAMER! This idea was partially stolen from that fic, it's hilarious!)

Harry: -.- why am I not surprised

Draco: I donno. GILLS! GILLS! GILLS!!

Seamus: I DONT HAVE BLOODY GILLS DRAGGY JR! NOW SHUT UP!

Draco: ::Sniffs:: Hawwy? Fishy man is mean. Wwwhhhaaaaaaa ::sobs::

Harry: Awww poor baby come here. ::hugs Draco to chest::

Seamus: -.-;;;;;;;

Harry: Seamus! How could you be so mean to poor Blondie? He only wanted to see your gills!

Seamus: I DONT HAVE FING' GILLS!!!!!

Harry: Ah I see how it is. Denial.

Seamus: WHAT THE FRICK?!?!?!

Harry: Nothing, nothing. If you can't accept that you're half fish then I'm not the one who should be telling you otherwise.

Seamus: ::growls::

Dobby: ::boucing:: Can Dobby sing now? Can he?

Seamus: Yes ::glares at Harry who's petting Draco::

::Music starts::

Dobby: ::has been dressed up in rapper clothes:: You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

My, my my my

You can't touch this

Music hits me so hard

Makes me say "Oh my lord thank you for blessing me

With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet"

It feels so good

When you know you're sown

A superdope homeboy from Oaktown

And I'm known as such

And this is a beat-uh!

You can't touch this

Hermione: ::skips out of back room #1:: Well that was fun!

Lucius: ::crawls out sobbing:: My lord Queen, I've been violated T.T

Voldemort: ::still being pushed in:: Oh dear, I'm so sorry Lucius. I promise to get you some Drag Eater raped by teenage girl therapy as soon as this BLOODY WEREWOLF STOPS TRYING TO STUFF ME INTO A FIRE PLACE!!!

Remus: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Harry: Hermione, tell me you didn't lose your decency to Blondie Sr.

Hermione: I did! And guess what! I'M PREGNANT!

Draco and Harry: O.o ::faint::

Hermione: Tehe works every time.

Dobby: I told you homeboy

You can't touch this

Yeah, that's how we livin' and you know

You can't touch this

Look in my eyes, man

You can't touch this

Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics

You can't touch this

Fresh new kicks and pants

You got it like that now you know you wanna dance

So move out of your seat

And get a fly girl and catch this beat

While it's rolling

Hold on

Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on

Like that

Like that

Cold on a mission so fall on back

Let 'em know that you're too much

And this is a beat

They can't touch

Ron: ::wakes up:: Yay! 'Mione's back!

Hermione: Yup!

Ron: And Dobby's rapping!

Hermione: Yup!

Ron: Wait...O.o you raped Lucius

Hermione: Yup! And I'm pregnant with his transexual twins!

Ron: O.o ::faints::

Hermoine: ::cackles:: What'd I tell you? It really does work every time.

Dobby: Yo! I told you

You can't touch this

Why you standing there, man?

You can't touch this

Yo, sound the bells, school is in, sucker

You can't touch this

Give me a song or rhythm

Making 'em sweat

That's what I'm giving 'em

Now they know

You talk about Hammer, you're talking about a show

That's hyped and tight

Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe

Or a tape to learn

What it is going to take in the '90s

To burn the charts

Legit either work hard or you might was well quit

Seamus: ::grumbling about stupid heroes and their boyfriends saying he has gills::

Blaise: Aww don't worry, even if you are half fish I still love you.

Seamus: I AM NOT HALF FISH!!!

Blaise: Then what are those? ::points to gills on neck::

Seamus: Those are birth marks.

Blaise: Birth marks that move?

Seamus: I was a special child.

Blaise: I see...

Dobby: That's the word, because you know

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

Break it down

Stop...Hammer time

Go with the flow

It is said

That if you can't groove to this

Then you're probably are dead

So wave your hands in the air

Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair

This is it for a winter

Dance to this an' you're gonna get thinner

Move slide your rump

Just a minute, let's all do the bump

Bump bump bump

Yeah, you can't touch this

Look man, you can't touch this

You better get hyped

Boy 'cause you know ya can't

You can't touch this

Ring the bell, school's back in

Break it down

Stop. Hammer time

Fred: How come everyone either has a boyfriend or is fainted on the floor?

George: Because that's just how the world works.

Fred: Oh. Gotcha. Wanna make out?

George: Sure ::makes out with Fred::

Ron: ::wakes up and sees them:: OH DEAR GOD!!!! ::faints again::

Fred: Hehe you knew that was gonna happen, didn't you.

George: Yup. I'm psychic like that.

Fred: Awesome man.

George: Isn't it?

Fred: It is.

Dobby: You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

Break it down

Stop. Hammer time

Every time you see me

The Hammer's just so hyped

I'm dope on the floor

And I'm magic on the mike

Now why would I ever

Stop doing this?

When others making records

That just don't hit

I've toured around the world

From London to the Bay

It's Hammer, go Hammer, M.C. Hammer, Yo Hammer

And the rest can go and play

Can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

Yeah, you can't touch this

I told you, you can't touch this

Too hype, can't touch this

Yo, we outta here, can't touch this

::Music ends::

Seamus: That was awesome Dobby, thanks!

Dobby: ::bouncing:: Dobby is so very happy!!!!

Seamus: ::smirks:: Dobby, could you bring us some Fire Whiskey and Butter beer while you're so happy?

Dobby: Well, Dobby does not know. Dobby was told by Dumbledore never to give students Fire Whiskey

Seamus: Awww but Dobby, we wanna be happy just like you! And see, we wizards sometimes need a little Fire Whiskey in order to be happy, house elves are just special like that and don't need it to be happy.

Dobby: Ooo! Dobby understands Master Seamus! Dobby will be back soon! ::disappears with a crack::

Blaise: Ooo Seamus you are one bad, bad Gryffindor

Seamus: ::smirks:: What can I say? We Irish need our booze and we know how to get it.

Draco: ::wakes up:: Booze?

Harry: ::wakes up:: Where?

Seamus: ::smirks:: It's coming.

Harry: YAY!!

Draco: WE GET BOOZE!!!

Harry and Draco: ::do the happy dance::

Oliver: ::strolls out of back room #2:: That was SO much fun. I'm in such a good mood, I'm gonna suggest a song.

Seamus: Go right ahead.

Oliver: ::cackles:: Muhahahahahahahaha

Remus: HEY! NO STEALING MY EVIL LAUGH!!! ::grabs him and tries to push him into the fire place::

Voldemort: FINALLY! Freedom!!! ::runs into bathroom::

Oliver: HEY!!! NO BURNING THE CUTE QUIDDITCH PLAYING SONG SUGGESTOR!!!!

Remus: Burn burn burn burn BURN BUURRRRRNNNN!!!!!

Sirius: Tehehe this is so fun to watch.

Harry: ::rolls eyes:: Oliver just tell us the song suggestion from over there.

Oliver: T.T SSAAVVEEE MEEEEEE!!!!!!

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Ddc: :-D that was fun. Not the funniest chapter yet, seeing as I wasn't bouncing off the walls while writing it, but it was still fun to write. Anyway, I'm not gonna take up too much at the end note, so I'll just say this. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! And also, pretty please review. I got so many reviews last time, so could you guys do it again this time? It'll make me a very happy authoress :-D ok enough bribing you readers. Merry Christmas, hope you liked this chappie, and I'm off to go wrap more Christmas presents for my family. Bubbi!


	7. Michael

Disclaimer: YYEESSSSSS THEY'RE DONE! THEY'RE FINALLY DONE!!!!

Kuri: -.- stop cheering over finals being over and do the damn disclaimer. I'm not in the mood for you babbling on and on about nothing

Ddc: Well guess what. I AM! Muhahahahahahahahahaha they're over they're over!

Kuri: -.- Ddc owns nothing except some final grades

Ddc: Which is enough for me at the moment

A/n: Sorry!!! I know it has taken almost a month for this chapter to come out, but I actually have an excuse other than being a lazy ass. Finals were this past week and the weeks before it were spent prepping and spazzing and procrastinating for them. BUT they're finally done so now I can go crazy with fic updates, centering on this fic and Not Another Karaoke Party. :-D so be happy! Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! You guys rock my socks you really do. Keep em coming please! They inspire me so much, they really do. Them and sugar, but that's another story entirely. :-P Anyway, you aren't here to listen to my babbling. ON WITH THE REVIEWER RESPONSES THEN THE FICCY!

Black Panther Wolf: ::does the I'm-the-bomb dance:: Sweet! Lol. YOU SUCK! I wanna have Japanese at my school instead of Spanish!!!! ::pouts:: No fair. Lucky duck. Thanks for the review Way, kuv ya!

Kit: You sure about that? Ok you can be a high squirrel instead. Or was that supposed to be me…gah whatever. Wait! I remember. You're a gopher. Wahahaha and I get to be a kitty. Be happy Kit! No being sad it's not good for you

Shadow Fox I: Being special is fun :-D Happy dances rock my socks!!!!!! Wahaha lol. O.O you had a tree full of candy canes?!?! NOT FAIR!!! T.T I only have boxes. Oh well. I must get mmooorrreeeeeeee tehe thanks for the review!

Raging Pheonix: Yes yes you are. And it's awesome you rock my socks Pheonix. Yup!! Randomness should be my middle name. The other Chaos Girls will show up soon, I donno if in this chapter though. Depends if I'm hyper enough :-P tehehe nice P.S. And thanks for the review!!!

D&G: Tehehe we Chaos Girls must be more popular than I thought…you're the second person to go "yay! They're back!" You make us feel special and loved DG :-D Yup, it was actually someone from mediaminer that suggested that. It was too funny to pass up tehehe. Well, did you honestly think anyone could POSSIBLY be as obsessed with books as Hermione is and not come across either porn, a sex guide, or a romance novel with kinky sex scenes? All the Scots I've seen have yummy bodies, and even yummier accents, so I don't blame Snape one bit :-D Kuv ya DG!

LainIris: Lmao!!!! Tehehehe you sound like me in art with this freshman girl that sits across from me. My teacher LOVES to describe art things by comparing them to food, so we'll sit in the back counting how many food references she makes and giggle making everyone go "huh?". It's fun :-P tehehehe I'm glad you liked this chappie so much, I need to get hyper off candy canes more often. Thanks for the review! Continue scaring the innocent library goers!

Killyjoy: Tehehehe thanks. Its good to know that even my not-so-funny chapters can make people laugh at least a bit. I'm using em! I'm using em! Just not right now cus I heard this song and went "O.o this…is…PERFECT!" it was very interesting when that happened…No worries, the booze is coming in this chapter so everyone gets to get nice and drunk asap. Thanks for the review!

Draco Rox Mai Sox: Tehe yay! The chapter is loved! MERRY MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Harrypotter, move over: Dragon Tamer rocks my socks, it's got to be one of the funniest dracoxharry fics I've read on this site. Thank you for the review!

Tmntyyh: Sorry this took so long to get out, thank you for the review!

Kitty: Tehehe yay! I'm glad you think my fic is funny, and keep scaring your mom its good for you. Unless she calls a psychiatrist, then you should probably stop tehe. Thank you for the review and yummy cookie! :-D

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Ron: Hermione, tell me the truth. Are you really pregnant with Lucius' transsexual twins?

Seamus: And while you're at it, tell me Hermione, is Draggy Jr. really a natural blond?

Harry: And why am I bi?

Neville: Why am I clutsy?

Draco: Why does everyone hate me?

Remus: And why am I a pyromaniac?

Pansy: Are you God?

Hermione: -.- do I really have to answer all those questions?

Blaise: No

Hermione: Good

Blaise: But I'll go mini-Hulk if you don't.

Hermione: O.o fine fine! Just no going green, it's not good for you.

Blaise: Awww but it's so much fun!

Hermione: Sure it is. You know, growing abnormal amounts of muscle, losing any intelligence you previously had, and changing skin color in a matter of seconds. Sounds like a ball

Seamus: Um no this sounds like a ball ::bounces ball around::

Hermione: -.-

Blaise: I think Fishy has proven his point

Seamus: I'M NOT FISHY!

Blaise: Now answer the questions

Hermione: Fine! No I am not as far as I know pregnant with Lucius' transsexual twins

Lucius: ::screams from inside bathroom:: YES!!!!!!!

Hermione: ::sniffs:: He doesn't have to sound so happy

Pansy: ::puts ear against door:: Um…I think he was happy over something else

Draco: ::blinks innocently:: What?

Pansy: Umm….

Draco: Pansy! Open the door I wanna know!

Everyone: NO DON'T!!!!!!

Pansy: ::sobs:: I must obey my beloved ::opens door::

Lucius: ::is jumping around clutching tube of mascara:: Oh my beloved Clinique Long Pretty Lashes mascara! I thought I had lost you forever! Now I can be pretty again!

Draco: O.O CLOSE IT!!!

Pansy: ::closes door::

Blaise: Well that was disturbing. Hermione finish!

Hermione: -.- Yes as far as I know Draco is a natural blond. Harry you're bi because of a gene in your DNA stream, I have no idea why you're clutsy Neville, everyone hates you Draco because you act like a bastard the whole time, you're a pyromaniac because you get some sort of mental pleasure over watching things burn probably after a childhood incident Remus, and do I honestly look like God?!?!?!

Pansy: Well you have brown hair…

Hermione: -.-;;;;;;

Draco: ::sobs:: That was so enlightening!

Harry: I never knew just how smart you were Hermione

Hermione: ::rolls eyes:: Can I GO now?

Ron: Go where?

Hermione: None of your business ::sneaks off towards bathroom::

Seamus: Is she…

Blaise: I think she is

Draco: Oh god

Harry: At least she'll be in the back room right?

Hermione: ::drags out sobbing Lucius and flings him onto the couch:: WAHAHAHAH! PUBLIC SCREWING!!!

Everyone: O.o

Draco: ::jumps into Harry's lap shrieking:: HARRY!!!!!!! GET HER AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucius: VOLDIE MY LOVELY SHIRT LIFTER!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!

Voldemort: ::storms out in glittery silver pants and black silk shirt on:: I'M COMING MY LOVE!!!!!!!

Draco and Harry: O.O

Seamus: I'm officially scared

Hermione: NO! YOU DON'T GET HIM! HE'S MY SEXY GAY BLOND MAN!

Voldemort: NO HE'S NOT I HAD HIM FIRST!!!

Hermione: WELL I STOLE HIM!!!! HA! LOSER!

Voldemort: Well…YOU'RE THE WRONG GENDER!

Hermione: No I'm not I'm secretly a man

Harry and Ron: ::faint::

Pansy: Oooooooo

Draco: O.o I'm a scared little Blondie at the moment

Voldemort: ::gasps in shock:: My love, is this true?

Lucius: It's true ::sobs::

Pansy: So THAT is why you've always hung out with Harry and Ron!

Hermione: Yup. And not only that, I also screwed them when they were asleep. They never even suspected a thing

Harry: O.o BLONDIE I'VE BEEN VIOLATED AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!!!!!

Draco: O.o I'm still a scared little Blondie

Harry: ::whimpers:: Draco hold me

Draco: ::cuddles with Harry:: Ok now I'm not scared. Yay! Cuddles!!!!

Lucius: DRACO! STOP CUDDLING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND THIS INSTANTAND BE IN A STATE OF SHOCK OVER ME BEING VIOLATED BY A MAN PRETENDING TO BE A GIRL THIS INSTANCE!

Draco: Yes sir. O.o I'm a scared little Blondie again

Harry: ::whimpers:: Draco…why did you stop cuddling with me? Don't you…don't you love me anymore?

Draco: Of course I love you Harry ::cuddles with him again::

Lucius: DRACO!

Draco: WHAT?!

Lucius: Did I not just ask you to be in a state of shock over me being violated by a man pretending to be a girl a moment ago?

Draco: Um yeah? What's your point?

Lucius: WHY AREN'T YOU IN A STATE OF SHOCK?!?!?!

Draco: Because I'm cuddling with my whimpering boyfriend. Duh

Lucius: WELL STOP! I DEMAND YOU!

Draco: NNNEEVVVEEERRRRRRR!!!!!

Lucius: DRACO! I AM YOUR FATHER!

Draco: Really? I thought you were my mother…wow. That's an eye opener right there.

Lucius: WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M YOUR MOTHER?!?!

Draco: Cus you always wear those black dress things and have long hair

Lucius: THOSE ARE ROBES!!!!!

Draco: And you wear makeup

Lucius: Only on the weekends

Draco: So you mean you're my father during the week and my mother on the weekends?

Lucius: NO!

Draco: Gah I'm so confused

Lucius: -.-;;;;;; Draco do I REALLY need to give you a sex ed lesson right now in the middle of my love and my rapist's fight?

Draco: What? What's sex?

Lucius: AAAHHHHH!!!!!

Harry: O.o you poor deprived child!

Draco: I'm so lost T.T

Lucius: I specifically remember giving you this lecture!!!!

Draco: Wait…when was this?

Lucius: Before you went to Hogwarts!

Draco: The one where you went into my room and sat on my bed and looked all solemn like I was about to die?

Lucius: Yes that one

Draco: Oh that was a dummy of me. I was down in the dungeons fiddling around with the whips and chains. They made funny things happen to me.

Lucius: YOU WERE PLAYING WITH MY WHIPS AND CHAINS?!?!?!?!?!?!

Draco: Oops, wasn't supposed to say that. HARRY! Hide me!!!!

Lucius: You are SO grounded mister!

Draco: ::has face pressed against Harry's chest:: Lalalala can't hear you lalalalalala

Lucius: DRACO! DON'T IGNORE YOUR FATHER!

Draco: Lalalala kiss me Harry!!

Harry: Ok! ::makes out with Draco::

Lucius: GAH! What does a guy have to do to get some attention around here?!

Hermione: Not a lot

Voldemort: You're so sexy Lucius

Hermione: Too sexy

Lucius: Awww you guys stop! You're making me blush!

Hermione: We know other ways to make you blush Blondie Sr.

Lucius: Really? How?

Voldemort: Oh nothing really big. Just licking, biting, sucking, stroking, etc. You know, the usual stuff.

Lucius: Are you suggesting what I think you are?

Hermione: If you're thinking along the lines of a hot gay threesome between you me and Voldie then you got it right

Lucius: IM IN!

Ron: O.o Hermione! I thought you loved me!

Hermione: Sorry, but blonde's and skeleton drag queens are more my style. It was nice making out with you though. ::strolls off with Voldemort and Lucius to back room #1::

Ron: ::Sobbing:: Noooooo my love has left me for a Drag Eater and a skeleton drag queen!

Seamus: Don't forget your love also turned out to be a guy in disguise

Blaise: Who raped you while you slept

Ron: But…but…I LOVED HER!

Harry: ::stops making out with Draco for a second:: Him

Ron: Ok fine. But…but…I LOVED HIM!

Neville: Does this mean you're gay Ron?

Ron: I'm not sure Neville, I'm not sure

Neville: Cus I mean I'm gay, so you're not alone

Seamus: Me too!

Blaise: Me too!

Draco and Harry: ::too busy making out to answer::

Pansy: ::raises hand:: I have a question!

Seamus: What oh rabid one?

Pansy: Am I the only one here who's straight?

Blaise: ::looks around:: Yeah I think so

Pansy: Sweet! I get to watch all the sexy gay guys get it on!

Seamus: No you don't

Pansy: Why not?!

Blaise: Because A.) none of us except Snape and Oliver and Voldie, Lucius, and Hermione have gotten it on and they were all in the back rooms and B.) None of us WANT you watching us getting it on

Pansy: ::whining:: But you let me watch you guys make out!!!

Seamus: So? That's different

Fred: That it be

George: That would be like me and George force-feeding you our candies!

Fred: George, I'm Fred. Not George. You're George.

George: Really? I always thought I was Fred and you were George

Fred: Nope

George: Gah I've lived a lie my whole life!! T.T

Oliver: ::trying to keep Remus from pushing him into fire place:: Could somebody PLEASE stop him from burning my oh so hot and sexy body??! It's too pretty for this rough treatment!!!

Remus: Fiiirrreeeeee. Buuurrrrrnnnnnnnn

Oliver: Heeelllpppp!!!!!!

Seamus: Only if you give us a song!

Oliver: RON SINGS MICHAEL! NOW HELP ME!!!!!

Blaise: Nah we'll wait until after the song to help you.

Oliver: WHY?!?!?!!

Seamus: Cus you're sexy when you whine

Snape: Hey back off Fish man! Scot man is mine!

Seamus: RAWR! ::attacks Snape hissing and scratching his face with claws::

Draco: Harry…Fish man just turned into Cat man…

Harry: OO!!! KITTY!!!!!

Draco: O.o

Ron: I'm gonna sing now…

Blaise: That's probably a good idea

::music starts::

Ron: ::dancing "seductively":: This is where I'll be so heavenly

So come and dance with me Michael

So sexy, I'm sexy

So come and dance with me Michael

I'm all that you see, you wanna see

So come and dance with me Michael

So close now, so close now

So come and dance with me, so come and dance with me, so come and dance with me

Harry: Draco, dance with me?

Draco: Ok! ::does funky chicken dance::

Harry: -.-;;;; does NOBODY appreciate a nice perverted innuendo around here?!

Draco: Huh?

Harry: I MEANT do you want to go to back room #6 and screw with me

Draco: Oooooo YEAH! YEAH!

Seamus: I thought you didn't know what sex is

Draco: I don't. But whatever it is, doesn't sound half as much fun as screwing!

Seamus: ::throws hands up:: I GIVE UP!

Ron: Michael

You're the boy with all the leather hips

Sticky hair

Sticky lips

Stubble on my sticky lips

Michael

You're the only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Beautiful boys on a beautiful dance floor

Michael you're dancing like a beautiful dance whore

Michael

Waiting on a silver platter now

And nothing matters now

Fred: Soooo…little Ronners is gay too

George: Must have rubbed off on him too much

Fred: YOU RUBBED OFF ON HIM WITHOUT ME?!?!?!

George: Only once…

Fred: George! I'm shocked and appalled that you didn't include me in the fondling of out little brother while he slept!

George: I'm sorry George, I promise I won't do it again

Fred: FRED! I'M FRED!!'

George: Oh. Sorry, still getting used to this

Ron: This is what I am

I am a man

So come and dance with me Michael

So strong now, it's strong now

So come and dance with me Michael

I'm all that you see, you wanna see

So come and dance with me Michael

So close now, it's close now

So come and dance with me, so come and dance with me, so come all over me

Seamus: ::watches Harry carry Draco who's attached to his waist off to back room #6:: I still can't believe he doesn't know that screwing and sex are the same thing

Blaise: He's a Slytherin, what do you expect?

Seamus: Too much apparently

Blaise: Yup. So….wanna screw?

Seamus: Not right now

Blaise: Awwww ok ::sulks::

Ron: Michael

You're the boy with all the leather hips

Sticky hair

Sticky lips

Stubble on my sticky lips

Michael

You're the only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Beautiful boys on a beautiful dance floor

Michael you're dancing like a beautiful dance whore

Michael

Waiting on a silver platter now

And nothing matters now

Michael

You're the only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Michael

You're the only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Only one I'd ever want

Beautiful boys on a beautiful dance floor

Michael you're dancing like a beautiful dance whore

Michael waiting on a silver platter now

Nothing matters now

Nothing matters now

::music ends::

Oliver: That was so beautiful and gay Ron

Ron: Thank you

Oliver: Now…SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!

Sirius: In a minute. I have a good song idea that I think everyone should listen to first

Oliver: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ::sobs::

Remus: Muhahahahahahahahaha burn burn BURN!!!

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a/n: Well that was a blast to write. :-D Because this chapter is already a lot longer than I had originally planned, I wasn't able to get around to Dobby bringing in booze so that will be in the next chapter. Please, please, PLEASE review with song suggestions and your thoughts on the fic. All are read (obviously) and they make me feel so special and loved, which makes me update faster. Unless of course I have finals tehehe. Well, until chapter 8, Ddc out!


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